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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Why FIFA World Cup is Not As Fun As IPL
Genre: Humor
The FIFA World Cup 2010 has started in South Africa amidst all the hype and hoopla but for me, the quientessential cricket-fed desi, it doesn't excite in the present avatar. Football World Cup needs several changes to make it as entertaining as IPL.
First of all, those suit-booted gentlemen talking before and after the matches on ESPN-Star Sports need to go. There should be Harsha Bhogle, Navjot Singh Sidhu and Mandira Bedi in that panel. And before you say "What the...", let me explain-
Harsha Bhogle probably never even took a cricket ball or bat in his hands yet he can convincingly dish out expert knowledge on cricket matches, so there is no reason why he cannot discuss football without ever having kicked a ball. Sidhu anyways keeps speaking what he wants to- shayaris, quotes et al so it doesn't matter whether you keep him in a cricket discussion or football discussion. As far as Mandira Bedi is concerned, till date she doesn't know what happens in the game she is supposed to talk about, so she fits in fine too.
I observed the football World Cup games have only one break at half-time. This is not fair. Players and viewers need more ad breaks, so from immediate effect there should be two X Mobile Strategic Timeouts introduced in the game, each decided by one team. Also, staring at the same ball for 90 minutes is too monotonous, so every team should bring a couple of cute looking "brand ambassadors" who don't know a bit about the game, but can excitedly wave flags whenever the camera focusses on them.
We see a lot of games becoming boring due to lack of goals scored. To make the game exciting, there should be a Powerplay period of 15 minutes in every half when only two defenders should be allowed inside 30 yards from the goal post. Also, to make the commentary more interesting, terms like Toyota Free Kick, Citibank Penalty and Adidas Offside should be used liberally.
Finally, the biggest reason why Football World Cup is not as entertaining as IPL to watch- There is no MRF Blimp over the stadiums! How technologically-backward! :(
The FIFA World Cup 2010 has started in South Africa amidst all the hype and hoopla but for me, the quientessential cricket-fed desi, it doesn't excite in the present avatar. Football World Cup needs several changes to make it as entertaining as IPL.
First of all, those suit-booted gentlemen talking before and after the matches on ESPN-Star Sports need to go. There should be Harsha Bhogle, Navjot Singh Sidhu and Mandira Bedi in that panel. And before you say "What the...", let me explain-
Harsha Bhogle probably never even took a cricket ball or bat in his hands yet he can convincingly dish out expert knowledge on cricket matches, so there is no reason why he cannot discuss football without ever having kicked a ball. Sidhu anyways keeps speaking what he wants to- shayaris, quotes et al so it doesn't matter whether you keep him in a cricket discussion or football discussion. As far as Mandira Bedi is concerned, till date she doesn't know what happens in the game she is supposed to talk about, so she fits in fine too.
I observed the football World Cup games have only one break at half-time. This is not fair. Players and viewers need more ad breaks, so from immediate effect there should be two X Mobile Strategic Timeouts introduced in the game, each decided by one team. Also, staring at the same ball for 90 minutes is too monotonous, so every team should bring a couple of cute looking "brand ambassadors" who don't know a bit about the game, but can excitedly wave flags whenever the camera focusses on them.
We see a lot of games becoming boring due to lack of goals scored. To make the game exciting, there should be a Powerplay period of 15 minutes in every half when only two defenders should be allowed inside 30 yards from the goal post. Also, to make the commentary more interesting, terms like Toyota Free Kick, Citibank Penalty and Adidas Offside should be used liberally.
Finally, the biggest reason why Football World Cup is not as entertaining as IPL to watch- There is no MRF Blimp over the stadiums! How technologically-backward! :(
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Water
Genre: Something-new
It started like any other rainstorm, but what took everyone by surprise that Mumbai never saw rain at this time of the year. At around 3pm, I started from Dadar to head back home fearing water logging if I waited any longer. But it turns out I was already too late. The maddening downpour coupled with heavy winds never seen before had wreacked havoc on the transport system already. Roads were blocked and trains were struggling to stay on track. The Borivali fast I took was stranded somewhere between Mahim and Bandra. After an hour of wait, we were marooned. There was knee-deep water on the tracks, and then one strong gust of wind brought down one of the metal pillars holding the overhead electric wires. That was it. There was no way the trains would start again. Seeing this, some passengers tried jumping into the water, not realising those wires that just fell in the water carried 25,000 volts of electricity. They were electrocuted and died a painful death before our eyes.
I was trying hard to contact someone to rescue me, but all cellphone networks seemed jammed. It is then it stuck me what I had learnt in my engineering days- in times of trouble, never call, always use SMS. I did that and luckily managed to get in touch with a friend driving home in his Tata Safari. I instructed him to come on the Mahim flyover. After another hour, the wires were now devoid of electricity and so was the water. Slowly, we managed to jump on to the tracks, now submerged in waist-deep water. As I was plodding my way, I experienced the ground beneath me giving way. The tremors were stronger than I ever experienced. It was an earthquake. Bigger and stronger than Mumbai had ever witnessed. Within a minute, as I looked back, I saw the old railway bridge over Mithi river collapse into the swelling waters with a huge splash, taking with it few coaches of a stranded local train with it. This was just the beginning. As I looked west, the sight I saw was terrifying to the core. The western pillar of the Bandra Worli Sea Link collapsed on to the eastern pillar and both of them came crumbling down in to the Mahim bay with a ear deafening thud. The sight reminded me of 9/11/2001, New York.
I somehow climbed on to the Mahim flyover from the embankments and got into the Safari waiting on the bridge. We tried to dash through water-logged streets as quickly as possible. The tremors had brought down most of the hutments in Dharavi. I instructed my friend to drive east and out of the island as fast as possible. I knew if we wanted to survive, there was only one road to take- the elevated Eastern Freeway, if it had survived the quake, that is. As we dashed towards Wadala, through tire-deep water, we found the Monorail was still intact and in a position to run, except that the electricity was not available. The passengers stranded somewhere near IMAX station in the tiny coaches were trying hard to break the windows to jump out, which would have been suicide anyways. The Eastern Freeway had survived, so far, and we joined the other fleeing Mumbaikars to reach the Vashi creek bridge where another horror awaited us- the old bridge had collapsed and the water level in the creek had gone up so far, it was hardly three feet below the railway bridge, a few more feet below the new road bridge.
As we were stuck in the traffic, I tried reaching out to my girlfriend, Rhea, who gave me the grim news- she was stuck in the Ghatkopar bound service of the Metro, somewhere between Versova and D.N. Nagar stations on the elevated Orange Line, surrounded by water all around. The electrical systems and the computers in the train had failed and there was no way the jammed doors would open too. There was no option but to wait, forever. As we tuned in the radio, all the FM stations, still up and running using whatever resources they had, giving a yeoman service to the city like they had done in the past during 26 July 2005 floods and 26/11/2008 terror attacks, had the same series of bad news- the bridge carrying metro tracks over the Western Express Highway had collapsed on the highway flyover, which in turn collapsed to the ground, killing hundreds of stranded passengers, on the metro as well as on the roads; a huge tidal wave had lashed into movie star Shahrukh Khan's bungalow- Mannat at Bandstand, killing everyone, including the star; Shreepathi Arcade, once India's tallest building was now a pile of rubble on the Tardeo ground, superstar of the previous century Amitabh Bachchan had died of suffocation in his residence after a 10 floor building fell straight on his bungalow. There was destruction everywhere.
After an hour, we somehow managed to crawl, alongwith six lanes of other traffic, across the 2-km Vashi Creek Bridge even as water level continued to rise and the sea turned violent. In this scenario, it was pointless to take the Palm Beach Road, which would have been flooded by now for sure. We drove ahead to CBD Belapur where army personnel directed us, like everyone else, to abandon the vehicles and climb up the Parsik hill following strict instructions from soldiers positioned all along the route. By now it was beyond dusk and when I reached the top of the hill, all I could see to the west was darkness, all I could hear around me were screams and wails of stranded residents. The night was long, and spent without food or water. When the sun rose next morning over the eastern horizon, what I saw to the west was impossible to believe- the sprawling metropolis that lied beyond the creek was nowhere to be seen. All that could be seen was water, extending to the horizon, with the hill once protecting BARC now rising like an island in the middle of nowhere. That was it, The End. The Apocalypse we always feared. The date- December 21, 2012.
It started like any other rainstorm, but what took everyone by surprise that Mumbai never saw rain at this time of the year. At around 3pm, I started from Dadar to head back home fearing water logging if I waited any longer. But it turns out I was already too late. The maddening downpour coupled with heavy winds never seen before had wreacked havoc on the transport system already. Roads were blocked and trains were struggling to stay on track. The Borivali fast I took was stranded somewhere between Mahim and Bandra. After an hour of wait, we were marooned. There was knee-deep water on the tracks, and then one strong gust of wind brought down one of the metal pillars holding the overhead electric wires. That was it. There was no way the trains would start again. Seeing this, some passengers tried jumping into the water, not realising those wires that just fell in the water carried 25,000 volts of electricity. They were electrocuted and died a painful death before our eyes.
I was trying hard to contact someone to rescue me, but all cellphone networks seemed jammed. It is then it stuck me what I had learnt in my engineering days- in times of trouble, never call, always use SMS. I did that and luckily managed to get in touch with a friend driving home in his Tata Safari. I instructed him to come on the Mahim flyover. After another hour, the wires were now devoid of electricity and so was the water. Slowly, we managed to jump on to the tracks, now submerged in waist-deep water. As I was plodding my way, I experienced the ground beneath me giving way. The tremors were stronger than I ever experienced. It was an earthquake. Bigger and stronger than Mumbai had ever witnessed. Within a minute, as I looked back, I saw the old railway bridge over Mithi river collapse into the swelling waters with a huge splash, taking with it few coaches of a stranded local train with it. This was just the beginning. As I looked west, the sight I saw was terrifying to the core. The western pillar of the Bandra Worli Sea Link collapsed on to the eastern pillar and both of them came crumbling down in to the Mahim bay with a ear deafening thud. The sight reminded me of 9/11/2001, New York.
I somehow climbed on to the Mahim flyover from the embankments and got into the Safari waiting on the bridge. We tried to dash through water-logged streets as quickly as possible. The tremors had brought down most of the hutments in Dharavi. I instructed my friend to drive east and out of the island as fast as possible. I knew if we wanted to survive, there was only one road to take- the elevated Eastern Freeway, if it had survived the quake, that is. As we dashed towards Wadala, through tire-deep water, we found the Monorail was still intact and in a position to run, except that the electricity was not available. The passengers stranded somewhere near IMAX station in the tiny coaches were trying hard to break the windows to jump out, which would have been suicide anyways. The Eastern Freeway had survived, so far, and we joined the other fleeing Mumbaikars to reach the Vashi creek bridge where another horror awaited us- the old bridge had collapsed and the water level in the creek had gone up so far, it was hardly three feet below the railway bridge, a few more feet below the new road bridge.
As we were stuck in the traffic, I tried reaching out to my girlfriend, Rhea, who gave me the grim news- she was stuck in the Ghatkopar bound service of the Metro, somewhere between Versova and D.N. Nagar stations on the elevated Orange Line, surrounded by water all around. The electrical systems and the computers in the train had failed and there was no way the jammed doors would open too. There was no option but to wait, forever. As we tuned in the radio, all the FM stations, still up and running using whatever resources they had, giving a yeoman service to the city like they had done in the past during 26 July 2005 floods and 26/11/2008 terror attacks, had the same series of bad news- the bridge carrying metro tracks over the Western Express Highway had collapsed on the highway flyover, which in turn collapsed to the ground, killing hundreds of stranded passengers, on the metro as well as on the roads; a huge tidal wave had lashed into movie star Shahrukh Khan's bungalow- Mannat at Bandstand, killing everyone, including the star; Shreepathi Arcade, once India's tallest building was now a pile of rubble on the Tardeo ground, superstar of the previous century Amitabh Bachchan had died of suffocation in his residence after a 10 floor building fell straight on his bungalow. There was destruction everywhere.
After an hour, we somehow managed to crawl, alongwith six lanes of other traffic, across the 2-km Vashi Creek Bridge even as water level continued to rise and the sea turned violent. In this scenario, it was pointless to take the Palm Beach Road, which would have been flooded by now for sure. We drove ahead to CBD Belapur where army personnel directed us, like everyone else, to abandon the vehicles and climb up the Parsik hill following strict instructions from soldiers positioned all along the route. By now it was beyond dusk and when I reached the top of the hill, all I could see to the west was darkness, all I could hear around me were screams and wails of stranded residents. The night was long, and spent without food or water. When the sun rose next morning over the eastern horizon, what I saw to the west was impossible to believe- the sprawling metropolis that lied beyond the creek was nowhere to be seen. All that could be seen was water, extending to the horizon, with the hill once protecting BARC now rising like an island in the middle of nowhere. That was it, The End. The Apocalypse we always feared. The date- December 21, 2012.Saturday, May 8, 2010
9 Months
Genre: Life
Today marks the end of 9 months of my stay in USA, and as I head home for the summer, a look at things that changed (and the ones that didn't) during my time at Virginia Tech-
- I started loving Mexican food.
- I learnt the basics of a new sport - American Football.
- I realized that "multi-cultural environment with students from diverse backgrounds" in Electrical Engineering means classes full of Indian and Chinese with not a single American girl.
- I can now speak English in three accents - my natural accent, American accent and Tamil accent.
- I learnt cooking. Indian, Italian, Mexican, Maggi.
- I started believing orange and maroon is actually a nice color combination.
- I started enjoying the luxury of stepping out of the house without checking how much money is present in the wallet, thanks to the omnipresent debit card.
- I learnt a new meaning to Unity in Diversity. Festivals originating from completely different cultures- Halloween, St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo have one unified form of celebration- get drunk.
- I adjusted to using paper instead of water.
- I realised that today Americans, most of them, have great respect and love for India, contrary to common belief.
- I learnt what convergence means. Surfing the net, doing homework, watching TV, reading newspaper, everything happens at one place- on the laptop.
- I realised that unlike in India, in some countries public transport is a luxury, not an omnipresent basic amenity.
And there are some thing that have not changed-
- I still love trains. The Indian ones.
- I still watch cricket matches, and not football or baseball.
- I still look forward to Hindi movies, and have seen more of them than English movies in nine months.
- I still read The Times of India daily, not The New York Times.
- I still have all Hindi songs on my playlist on my music player. No Lady Gaga.
- I still love Mumbai. New York was awesome, but Mumbai is Mumbai.
Today marks the end of 9 months of my stay in USA, and as I head home for the summer, a look at things that changed (and the ones that didn't) during my time at Virginia Tech-
- I started loving Mexican food.
- I learnt the basics of a new sport - American Football.
- I realized that "multi-cultural environment with students from diverse backgrounds" in Electrical Engineering means classes full of Indian and Chinese with not a single American girl.
- I can now speak English in three accents - my natural accent, American accent and Tamil accent.
- I learnt cooking. Indian, Italian, Mexican, Maggi.
- I started believing orange and maroon is actually a nice color combination.
- I started enjoying the luxury of stepping out of the house without checking how much money is present in the wallet, thanks to the omnipresent debit card.
- I learnt a new meaning to Unity in Diversity. Festivals originating from completely different cultures- Halloween, St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo have one unified form of celebration- get drunk.
- I adjusted to using paper instead of water.
- I realised that today Americans, most of them, have great respect and love for India, contrary to common belief.
- I learnt what convergence means. Surfing the net, doing homework, watching TV, reading newspaper, everything happens at one place- on the laptop.
- I realised that unlike in India, in some countries public transport is a luxury, not an omnipresent basic amenity.
And there are some thing that have not changed-
- I still love trains. The Indian ones.
- I still watch cricket matches, and not football or baseball.
- I still look forward to Hindi movies, and have seen more of them than English movies in nine months.
- I still read The Times of India daily, not The New York Times.
- I still have all Hindi songs on my playlist on my music player. No Lady Gaga.
- I still love Mumbai. New York was awesome, but Mumbai is Mumbai.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Temple
At a multi-cultural students' gathering in a little town in USA-
American Guy (AG): Ah! India! Where is that famous temple?
Roomie 1 (R1): Which? Tirupati?
AG: Umm.. no..
Roomie 2 (R2): Golden Temple?
AG: Umm.. no..
R1: Meenakshi Temple?
AG: Um.... not that...
R2: Khajuraho?
AG: Naah.. that big one...
R1: Rameshwaram?
Random Guy walks in: Taj Mahal?
AG: Ah! YES!
Me, R1, R2: *facepalms* :|
American Guy (AG): Ah! India! Where is that famous temple?
Roomie 1 (R1): Which? Tirupati?
AG: Umm.. no..
Roomie 2 (R2): Golden Temple?
AG: Umm.. no..
R1: Meenakshi Temple?
AG: Um.... not that...
R2: Khajuraho?
AG: Naah.. that big one...
R1: Rameshwaram?
Random Guy walks in: Taj Mahal?
AG: Ah! YES!
Me, R1, R2: *facepalms* :|
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My World...My Views by The Blue Indian is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.