I Will Never Fly Air France - Or Will I?

Genre: Travel

Since yesterday, a bunch of people have been sharing this blog post by a disgruntled passenger about his experience with Air France in Paris, with comments like "Never ever fly Air France!" Is it really as terrible as he makes it sound? What should you do if you get stuck in a similar situation?

Short response: As a rule of thumb, never ever fly Air France through Charles De Gaulle, a living manifestation of hell on Earth. That will drastically reduce the probability of getting into a situation similar to this guy.

But then, what if it still happens? Will you end up with a "horror story" worth the outrage? Not if you do the following-

The guy in that blog was angry that he was informed of his flight's delay by an electronic display board, not a human being. Don't do this. In today's highly automated airline industry, an information screen can be trusted to have more accurate information than random airline employees.

If the airline staff says the aircraft is having technical issues, don't expect they will divulge more details. Either because they themselves don't have more information, or because the extra information is of no use to the passengers. For example- if the airline staff said that the hydraulic pump controlling starboard MLG is malfunctioning, you would be left wondering- what I am supposed to do with this piece of information?

Don't expect that the airline can always arrange an alternate plane to fly you. Flying a plane is not like driving a bus, that if one bus breaks down, bring any other bus and get going. There are fleet restrictions and pilot availability issues. For example, in that Paris incident, more than half of Air France's fleet is narrowbody aircraft that cannot fly from Paris to Mumbai. Then there are a bunch of Airbus A380s that can fly Paris-India, but the Indian government has banned them from operating into India. That leaves you with A330, A340 and B777 planes. Were any of them readily available to fly? Even if you find a plane ready to go, are there pilots and cabin crew available who are on duty and have experience operating a flight to Mumbai?

By all means, request, but don't expect that the airline will always put you on an alternate flight. For instance, for that guy stuck in Paris, are there alternate flights from Paris to Mumbai? No! The only Paris-Mumbai connection is 5 days a week Air France flight. Could they put him on a one-stop flight to Mumbai on some other airline? Maybe they could, but it is not always possible. 

If the airline staff says there is no alternate flight to put you on, do not insist "did you check properly?" They refused you because they probably already know there is no other flight where they can put you and don't need to check. It's their damn daily job. If someone asks you a casual question about your line of work, do you always check monitors or make calls even if you know the answer?

If you don't get a transit visa, don't get angry at the airline. They have no say in it. It's the immigration officers' decision whether to give someone a transit visa or not. Ideally, considering it was a cancelled flight, they should give it, but they are within their rights to refuse a visa

Try asking for access to the airline's lounge, but be prepared that they may refuse since the lounges have limited space and are for paying Business/First class passengers. However, if you really wanted to go to a lounge, you pay for a Day Pass and get access. United Club and American Airlines Admiral's Club at CDG both give access to anyone with a $50 day pass.  

Don't go hungry simply because the airline did not provide you enough free food vouchers. You are in an international airport. If you get hungry, you go and buy your own food. Starving yourself over a delay is not worth it.

Ask for a hotel for overnight stay. But if the airline cannot provide one, be prepared to sleep in the terminal. Most airports have portable beds, bedsheets and blankets for overnight delays. Be happy if you get one. It could have been worse. 

All said and done, that blog wasn't the first time this has happened, won't be the last time. Air travel has its bit of uncertainties. When you travel, be mentally prepared for it. This is what you should do if stuck in a similar situation-

• Don't shout or overwhelm the gate agents. Many times they really don't much beyond that a flight is delayed, and nobody likes handling 200 shouting passengers. If you approach them politely, they will do everything they can to find an alternative for you.

• If you are enrolled in a frequent flier program (if not, why are you not? It takes 5 minutes to join and is free! Do it now!) go to that airline or alliance's lounge. They may not give you entry on an Economy Class ticket, but the staff there has same access to the system as the gate agent and are not being overwhelmed by 200 people, so they can check up alternatives for you.

• Use the meal vouchers provided by the airline to get whatever food you can, and buy more if you need. You can easily spend a few hours at restaurants rather than crowding around the gate. If you have special needs (vegetarian, no-beef etc) always carry your own snacks for emergency. Don't rely on an airport in a foreign country to provide you enough food choices to satisfy your dietary preferences.

• If you want to relax, have shower, charge your phones, use internet and get some food and drinks, buy a one day pass to an airline lounge. Yes, it costs money, but it will be worth it, see below

• Once you are back home, contact the airline and ask for refund and compensation. Europe has strict Air Passenger Rights Law that all European airlines have to abide. Quoting from the article- "If you are denied boarding, your flight is cancelled or arrives more than 3 hours late on arrival at the final destination stated on your ticket, you may be entitled to compensation of €250 - 600". For flights over 3,500km, for example Paris-Mumbai like in this case, the airline will have to pay you 600 Euro compensation. This will easily cover all the food and lounge access expenses you had to do at the airport.

• And lastly, Do not write passive aggressive Open Letters to the CEO. Instead, contact the airline- call them, email them, post on their Facebook and Twitter accounts. Believe it or not, engaging the airline directly gives some amazing results.

In conclusion-
What this guy mentioned in his blog is hyperbole and what actually happened could happen on any airline, its not Air France specific.
Air France is not an airline worth flying, but not because THIS incident happened. Even without this, they have a pathetic passenger comfort and safety record. So if you have been flying AF in spite of knowing this, no need to change it because THIS happened.

Bon Voyage!

Conference Rooms

In Office Buildings,

HOW CONFERENCE ROOMS ARE NAMED:

The We-Are-Global Company

The We-Are-Universal Company

The We-Are-Cute Company

The We-Love-Science Company

The We-Are-Cool-Geeks Company

HOW CONFERENCE ROOMS SHOULD BE NAMED:

Seriously, who ever thought employees who have a meeting to attend in the middle of a workday would love spending fifteen minutes roaming across the building scratching their heads trying to figure out where the heck is Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Conference Room? 

The Great Airline Showdown

Genre: Travel

Now that I have done trans-continental journeys between India and the United States by five different airlines, one from each of the five different broad categories available for India-US travel i.e. US based airline, India based airline, cheap Gulf based airline, posh Gulf based airline and Europe based airline, it’s time to pitch them against each other in the Great Airline Showdown!

The table above summarizes my experience with each of the airlines for impatient people. If you have the patience, a detailed review follows below. Some disclaimers before we start off-

• This is purely my personal opinion based on one personal experience on each of the airlines, so don’t come to kill me if you experience something drastically different on your flights from what I mention here.
• The flights considered for comparison are- Delta’s Mumbai-Atlanta non-stop (no longer in existence), Jet Airways’ Mumbai-Brussels-Newark, Kuwait Airways’ Mumbai-Kuwait-London-New York, Qatar Airways’ Mumbai-Doha-Washington and Lufthansa’s Mumbai-Frankfurt-Dallas.

Seats

On ultra-long haul transcontinental flights in Economy class, my biggest concern (and nightmare) is the seat comfort and legroom. This is the single most important thing that can make or ruin (mostly ruin) the 20-odd hour journey. My first experience was on Delta’s Boeing 777 with 3-3-3 seating, and it being my first long haul flight I was distracted by a lot of things but I do remember the legroom was just enough to sit without poking your knees into the seat ahead. Jet Airways Airbus 330 is almost the same when it comes to legroom but I prefer the 2-4-2 layout because now you have to disturb only one person (as opposed to two in B777) every time you want to get up to go to the loo (or to the galley to nick some free chocolates and snacks). Kuwait Airways’ 3-3-3 and the legroom is as good (or bad) as Delta while Lufthansa again scores for the 2-4-2 layout. The clear winner here is Qatar with its generous legroom that makes up for the 3-3-3 layout. This was the only flight on which I could actually comfortably rest without wriggling around like a fish taken out of water.

Ambiance

When it comes to ambience and interiors of the plane, all five airlines more or less represented their origins. Delta has clean and functional but blah interiors showing the typical I-don’t-care American attitude. Same thing for Lufthansa. It has everything that should be there, but don’t expect unnecessary glamour. Typical European. Kuwait Airways is the worst of the lot, what with torn seat covers, dirty toilets and seats that either stay only reclined or not recline at all. On the other hand, Jet Airways has nice LED lighting, moisturizers and deodorants in the washroom.. the little things that make you feel good. And of course, the winner in this category is Qatar with its multi-color mood lighting that simulates time of the day, amenity kits for all passengers including toothpaste, brush etc and nice well-maintained planes.

Staff

The female flight attendants on Delta are straight out of old-age home, so aged that I felt bad asking them to bring something for me. Kuwait Airways has a random mix of European, Chinese, Indian flight attendants (surprisingly none Middle-Eastern) and it’s a hit or miss depending on whom you have on your side of the plane. Lufthansa’s all-European cabin crew is charming, smiling but will stick exactly to their prescribed duty schedules. Nothing more, nothing less. Qatar and Jet Airways both score high on friendly, smiling, helpful crew that goes out of their way to make you feel good, whether it is by bringing extra ice cream and chocolates for the kids or chatting and joking with the passengers.

Food

Food! The only thing that I look forward to on long haul flights. The only thing that breaks the monotony of sitting and staring at a screen for hours. I have always ordered Asian Vegetarian Meal on all flights, so that makes the comparison fair. In this department Lufthansa disappoints. Big time. First, their definition of Indian meal is rice and random vegetables in gravy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Second, someone needs to explain them that Indian gravies have oil.. that seeps.. into other things packed with it. I had the (mis)fortune of eating (or throwing away) puri soaked in oil from veg korma, with salty gaajar ka halwa on one flight, and water soaked roti with rubbery paneer bhurji in another. Now before you jump on me claiming that it was my fault ordering Indian food on non-Indian airline, well, other non-Indian airlines have fared remarkably well in this department. Delta served decent dinner and quite good idli and masala dosa; Kuwait Airways, in spite of being low in other departments, scored a winner here with finger-licking delicious meals, and once again Qatar and Jet Airways won the way to my heart through my stomach! Worth noting here is Jet Airways serving Pav Bhaji (yes, tasty Pav Bhaji!) and Ragda Pattice onboard and also Belgian chocolate ice cream. None of the other airlines had an ice-cream after the meals.

Entertainment

In-seat screens with several dozen movies and TV shows is the norm across airlines these days, so not much to compare here. Just a couple of notable points- some of Lufthansa’s dinosaur era Boeing 747 do not have individual screens and I had to bear one such flight, with only two bulky CRT monitors in the aisle playing random stuff. Kuwait Airways technically has in-seat screens but you have a better chance of winning a lottery than getting a working screen on this plane. In my flights, some screens worked only when you bang them, one screen worked with remote from adjacent seat, and some screens randomly turned black and white from color!

Punctuality

Touch wood, by God’s grace, all my transcontinental flights across airlines have always been more or less right on time at departure and arrival, except two incidents- the Jet Airways plane developed a technical snag at Brussels that delayed it by an hour, but the staff made up for it by promptly distributing vouchers for passengers to go around and buy fine Belgian chocolates! On other occasion the Kuwait Airways plane encountered a problem before takeoff from Kuwait and everyone sat in a stationary plane in the desert for two hours “celebrating” turn of the New Year (00:00 Jan 1^st local time!) as apparently “someone had gone to the store to bring the replacement part” according to the pilots. 

Connection Hub

Today, unless you are flying to New Jersey, any journey from Mumbai to United States involves at least one change of flight, so it matters what is the condition of the connecting hub. My Delta flight was non-stop to Atlanta but since I had to take an onward domestic flight I will consider Atlanta as the connecting hub for it. Hartsfield Jackson International is the world’s busiest airport and it shows. The place is huge, and the gates have minimal seating, so the whole place resembles CST railway station with people squatting on the floor. Kuwait Airways is test of endurance as you have to first transit through Kuwait City ST Bus Depot, which for some reason is called Kuwait International Airport, and then through hell-hole of the world- London Heathrow! Qatar’s Doha hub is better than Kuwait but nothing to write home about, unless of course you love taking a long bus ride through desert to reach your plane from the terminal. If you love watching planes and aviation, Lufthansa’s Frankfurt hub is absolute HEAVEN for the sheer quantity and variety of planes on display, but for regular travelers it is laid out in a very confusing manner, and yes, it is no fun to get out in minus 15 degree C to board a bus to take you to the plane. Brrrr! Jet Airways’ Brussels hub is cool- not too confusing, clean and spacious, and all connecting flights arrive and departure from adjacent gates so no walking around.   

Crowd

On any India-US flight there is a probability approaching one that there will be lots of desi kaka, characterized by asking for alcohol every single time a drinks trolley passes by and standing up in the aisle as soon as the plane has touched down on the runway. On any flight heading to a Middle Eastern country, a good proportion of passengers are workers going there for manual labour, who have obviously got into a plane for the first time in their life, and it shows. On Qatar it was okay, but Kuwait Airlines simulates experience of boarding a train from LTT to Gorakhpur. The most well-behaved and classy crowd is on Lufthansa- I was pleasantly surprised to see not one person standing up from their seats after we touched down in Mumbai, right upto the point where the flight attendants announced that the doors are open. Rare sight!

Conclusion

It is commonly known fact that people buying tickets for India-US journeys look at only three things while making their decision- price, price and price. Nothing wrong it in, especially for people who just want to go from Point A to Point B by hook or by crook, but you need to remember that you get what you paid for. In my comparison, Kuwait Airways fares quite badly per se, but when put in perspective that I paid only $900-odd for the roundtrip compared to $1200-1400 I have had to pay for the other four, it’s not a bad deal.  That being said, it makes sense sometimes to look a little below the first (cheapest) option on the website- the slight extra paid might be well worth the experience. Bon Voyage! 

The Ultimate Guide to Indian Train Travel

The Ultimate Guide to Indian Train Travel

Why am I writing this? Because of the hordes of western tourists who decide to travel by choice by unreserved Second Class in an Indian train in spite of seven more comfortable classes available, then go home and write blogs criticizing "how pathetic and dirty all Indian trains are". The next person doing this shall be dragged back to India and locked inside a dirty toilet in a similar unreserved Second Class coach of Kurla-Gorakhpur Express in peak summer. If you ever need to travel by an Indian train, the following guidance will be more than sufficient to have a pleasant trip. Or maybe not. 

In spite of economic progress and India Shining and low cost airlines and multi-axle Volvo buses with leather seats and in-seat TV screens and six lane expressways and swanky cars, chances are if you are in India, at some point your travels will involve taking the Indian Railways. And although the AC coaches are more comfortable and delicate-traveler-friendly, there is no better way to enjoy India and enjoy a journey than the humble Sleeper class coach of an Indian Railways train. The typical Sleeper class journey experience involves the following stages-

1. The Reservation

In the pre-internet days, getting a confirmed sleeper class reservation on any train required an elaborate ritual of heading to the Reservation counter at the local railway station, filling up a detailed form, waiting in a serpentine queue for hours in heat or cold or rain, encountering either a totally disinterested or an overly enthusiastic clerk and praying to your deity of choice to receive a rectangular blue and white dot-matrix printed ticket. When the internet age came along, Indian Railways thought this experience should be recreated online and with this sole purpose in mind was created the great IRCTC website. At 8am every morning, thousands of frustrated Indians religiously use some selective words against imaginary mother and sister of IRCTC website, but after an hour of drama, you will eventually get a confirmed reservation. Except when you don't- in which case you will be pulled into a complicated system of Waitlist and RAC and Tatkal and agents. For the moment lets assume you were spared that experience and you have a confirmed sleeper ticket. On to the next step.

2. The Hope

On the day of travel, once you have negotiated your way through the maze of passengers and their relatives and reached your coach, every male passenger stops outside the door and goes into a dream sequence imagining romance blooming on the train with a pretty female co-passenger like it happened in a couple of  Bollywood movies, then opens his eyes, carefully goes through the Reservation chart pasted outside the coach, expecting some F21, F19 passengers but rather finds all middle aged uncles or families assigned seats around him and makes a slow walk to his berth. If you are traveling by an Indian train for the first time, do not forget this step. It is an essential one.

3. The Adjustment

If you are boarding from the starting station of a train the first thirty minutes after boarding will be spent in The Great Indian Adjustment Game. If boarding from an intermediate station, you have lost the game before having a chance to make your move. Irrespective of what berth you have been assigned, there will  always be some passenger who would want you to exchange it with his/her berth. A six year old brat kid will invariably start Occupy Window Seat movement forcing himself onto your lap or squeezing himself in between you and the window. Families of four with two reserved berths and twelve pieces of luggage will make themselves comfortable on a part of your berth after shovelling their bags in every inch of available space below the seats. Do not get scared by this experience. This is the best ice-breaker ever. Once you have successfully adjusted yourself to everyone's satisfaction, you will reap the benefits of it in the next step.

4. The Food

Depending on your luck, your train may or may not have a Pantry Car. If it has one, you will get to see the ultimate example of standardization in the world- every single meal item sold on every train will look and taste exactly the same. One one journey from Mumbai to Jammu, I was served exact same gravy, but called Aloo Mutter at lunch, Chana Masala at dinner and Chhole at the second day's lunch. This is the time to reap benefits of the previous step. Tha families around you will always have enough food to feed a small African country for a week and they will happily share it with you. Try everything. It is the most fun part of a train journey, but do not overeat, because then you will have to use the toilet, which takes us to the next step.

5. La Loo

Sleeper class coaches on Indian trains have Western and Indian style toilets but there is no guarantee that there will be posterior-cleaning supplies available, neither western nor Indian. The trick is to observe around the coach carefully to see if people walking up and down the aisle are carrying empty water bottles or not. If they are, you should also carry one to the loo. Trust me, you will not regret this. Once inside, you will experience cool breeze hitting your posterior. Look down and you will witness a facility unique to Indian Railways- a loo with a view. You have not experienced a train journey unless you have seen the tracks below while answering nature's call!

6. The Sleeper

A majority of passengers take the term "Sleeper Class" too literally. They will want to sleep as soon as the sun goes down, and sometimes even when the sun is high up in the sky. Invariably the person having the middle berth will have the maximum enthusiasm to get the berth down and sleep, thereby forcing the lower berth occupying passenger to crouch and Upper Berth passenger to climb up to his little abode. Try to delay the inevitable and they will argue- "But I paid for my Sleeper reservation. I don't want to waste it!". You have no option but to give in, but here comes the next, and best step.

7. The Door

This is something you cannot do on a plane or a luxury bus but can do in an Indian Railways Sleeper coach. Stand at the open door and enjoy the breeze! When you think you have had enough of conversations with co-passengers on everything from current affairs to sports to origin of universe and that your body has made sufficient use of the berth to get above the threshold of "wasting sleeper reservation", head out to the door and stand or sit at the footstep enjoying the view outside. Some like to have music in their ears while doing this, but if you ask me, the rythmic sound of metal wheels against the metal rail is the best melody ever. 

Happy Journey! 

One More Thing...

I am not an Apple fanboy. I do not own a single Apple product. But still, the news of demise of Steve Jobs has saddened me. On my way back from work I had picked up my favorite food that I was craving to have since a long time and was cheerful about it, but now that's the last thing on my mind. Why? Why has the death of a man who is in no way related to me affected me so much? Because this man was a genius, and losing him is a loss to everyone. And when I say this, I am neither being overly emotional nor exxaggerating. Saying that Steve Jobs revolutionized the way the world communicates today is not an understatement. It is a fact.  

I have, on several occasions, expressed my displasure and criticized various Apple products- from the MacBook Air to the iPhone 4S that was released just yesterday, so you may be wondering why this sudden love for Steve Jobs? First of all, it is not sudden. I have always admired this guy. It is because he was a unique man who could accomplish this feat of garnering respect from even the people who disliked the products his company made. Why? Because he was more than just another CEO of just another big company. He was a man who knew what the world wants. He was a man who knew to read the world's heart. I have a Master's degree in Wireless Communications and work at one of the world's leading telecom company, so it is natural that I feel the desire to scrutinize every device Apple has launched in the past few years and ended up finding some or the other minor technical shortcoming in it that took away my interest from buying it, but that's because I am a self-confessed geek who thinks too much, but the world is not like that. The world wants things that make their life simpler, are easy to use, and look nice. Steve Jobs knew this perfectly well. And he designed his products for the world. He developed products that gave access to technology to the people who were previously deprived of it because it was too complicated. He made products that made technology simple. From the big heavy Personal Computers to small designer Mac. From awkward Walkman requiring cassettes to play to the iPod that made listening to music simple. From bulky ugly looking Nokia and Motorola phones of the early 2000s to the sleek iPhone that simplified the smartphone experience. The iPad that gave access to technology to millions of people who found it too complex to use a full fledged computer. And while fiercely protecting his products and innovations, he knowingly or unknowingly opened up a huge market with competition that drives even more innovation. It wouldn't be wrong to say that it was his iOS that led to the growth of Android and thousands of developers across the world innovating daily to be at the top of the race. It was his iPad that led to fierce competition for tablets and the research and innovation that is going into making all of those. It was his imagination and products that moved technology from being the playground of geeks to being a part of mainstream life of people across the world. This is by no means a small achievement. 

And, wait! There is one more thing... 

He made black turtlenecks popular. 

Rest in Peace Steve Jobs. iRespect.

And one more thing...

I am going to enjoy that food I brought on the way home, not mourn, following advice of Steve Jobs himself- "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." 

No Land For Single People

Genre and all I have stopped mentioning now.

The world is unfair to single guys, well to be technically correct, a guy who lives alone, as I have realized two months into my experiment of living alone. No, this is not going to be a sentimental rant about loneliness, so if you have moved your cursor towards the Back or Close button on your browser, stop, and continue reading. 

The discrimination against guys living alone transcends across continents and has percolated across myriad sectors. Let's look at travelling here in the United States- on highways in cities, they reserve lanes where single folks are not allowed to drive. Very nicely they call it 'High Occupancy Lanes' and only allow cars with two or more people in it to use these traffic-free lanes. In which universe is two considered a high number? Encouraging car-pooling and all is just excuse, I tell you, they just want the single guys to suffer in traffic and watch couples happily breeze past them in High Occupancy Lanes. It's just rubbing salt in their wounds, a way of saying, "Dude, live with a girlfriend (ok ok, boyfriend is also now legal) and then you can zoom ahead of the traffic". Unfair only it is. 

Think of moving away from this by leaving the car home and take the train to travel and they will again bombard you with the same unfair treatment. You can book one seat on Amtrak trains, but if you want to book a sleeper berth, you have to book two only. Even if you are travelling alone, they will ask you to pay for two people and book a roomette if you want a sleeper berth. If not injustice, what is this? Yes, we know it is nice to travel as couples and have a private roomette to yourself to indulge in various activities but why do you need to rub it in to single guys? Back in India it is better because they let you book one sleeper berth if you are travelling alone, but the injustice against single guys does not stop. It comes back to haunt you in other ways. First of all, Indian Railways has this sadistic pleasure module in their reservation system that will never ever give a single guy a nice window seat or a lower berth, and if by some stroke of luck it assigns one, at the time of travel someone will invariably come and ask you to move from your originally chosen berth to some random upper berth because they have an old uncle or fat aunty who cannot climb to their assigned berths.  

Driving is unfair, trains are unfair, so you decide to fly and the ghost of unfair treatment comes back to haunt you. Every damn airline will operate their domestic flights with a 3-3 seat configuration and long international flights with a 3-3-3 configuration, so if you are a single guy, you have to endure torture of a chatty couple or annoying uncle-aunty or some similar combination of two people next to you. They could have thought of keeping 2-4 seating so that single guys stand some chance of landing up with a pretty fellow single co-passenger but no, that they won't do. They just don't want single guys to be excited and look forward to travelling. 

About restaurants and bars and night clubs being unfair to single guys, the lesser said about it, better. They will let couples in free but if you are a single guy, ask you to pay up. They don't realise they are doing it wrong. It is the single guys who need to visit the bars and clubs so they can socialize and find someone interesting and so they are the ones who should be allowed in free. The couples are supposed to be happy with each other's company. If they need to head to a bar or club for fun, it means their love life is probably rather boring, and the bar should charge them for helping them get over their boredom. The restaurants are not so unfair, but are not completely welcoming either. They will never have tables for one person, minimum will be two, and if you show up alone, the staff will stare at you left and right, and behind, to see if you are hiding a midget partner somewhere or are really alone. (But, I love Denny's. They are impartial. They serve their cheap unhealthy food with equal enthusiasm to single guys and large groups.) 

By the way, all this applies only to single guys. If you are a single girl, well, that's a completely different story for some other day.  

Bill pe Bill

Genre: Humor

Now that the government has agreed to include the recommendations of Anna Hazare in the proposed Lok Pal Bill, several other prominent personalities from the civil and not-so-civil Indian society have decided that they will also come up with their own versions of the Lok Pal bill to present to the government for consideration.

Arindam Chaudhury will present the IIPMPal Bill. Dare to think beyond Lokpal. Everyone enrolling to support his version of the draft will get free laptops and a study tour to Europe. 

Rahul Dravid will start writing his draft of the Lokpal bill and will continue non-stop for five days. 

Chetan Bhagat will publish his version as a book. Three Mistakes Of Lokpal: What Not To Do In Government

Ram Gopal Varma will present a sequel. Lok Pal Ki Aag.

Aamir Khan will release only one chapter of his Lok Pal Bill per year.

Lalit Modi will start a Lokpal Premier League (LPL)

Ekta Kapoor will script a version that will run for seven years and will be called Kkok Pal Bill

When Rakhi Sawant was asked if she will also contribute, she said "Yeh Lokpal hain na, mereko usse shaadi karneka hai. Mereko na usse ekdum love ho gayela hai" 

Although not an Indian citizen, Steve Jobs will be allowed as an honorary guest to launch his version called iPal Bill. After six months he will launch a faster, slimmer version called iPal2. 

Rajinikanth will not present any bill. He himself will be the Lokpal and the entire committee.

What's In A (Re)name?

Genre: Current Affairs

No, this is not about the Anna Hazare-Lokpal issue. Everybody and their pet dog have presented enough and more views and counterviews on it by now.

Apart from cricket, India has another favorite pastime. It’s called Change the Name game. Many Indians, most of them in power, believe that the names given to streets, monuments, villages, towns, cities, even states of the country are not good enough and it is their sacred duty to rename anything and everything that has a name. Initially the argument put forward to indulge in this activity was that it is a sin to call places built by the British in India by the names the British gave, so they should be renamed. Accordingly Victoria Terminus became Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, Connaught Place became Rajiv Chowk and so on. Not satisfied with just this, came the second round or arguments- that the British “spoiled” the original names of our cities, so they should be renamed to their original pure form. In the process Bombay became Mumbai, Madras became Chennai, Calcutta became Kolkata, Trivandrum became tongue-twisting Thiruvanatanthapuram, Bangalore will soon become Bengaluru, Mangalore will become Mengaluru and so on and so forth, in the process wasting millions of rupees of taxpayer money in repainting all signboards, reprinting new stationery and updating all maps and databases.

After renaming of cities was done, someone thought, hey wait, this is not enough. We can go one level higher. Let’s rename our states too. And so it began. The ministers of the newly formed state of Uttaranchal felt the name was not good enough, and in the most expensive Backspace operation in history, decided to tweak the name to Uttarakhand. No, don’t ask me how this is any better. It just is. Because they said it is. Next to grab this opportunity was Mamata Banerjee, (who anyways has a penchant for grabbing many things including attention and cabinet ministry), who came up with the most unbelievable argument in the history of renaming- West Bengal is alphabetically last among Indian states, so its turn comes last in roll call and by that time the audience falls asleep, and to correct this catastrophic problem, passed a bill to rename the state to Paschim Banga (which she pronounces Poschim Bongo thereby making it feel like the name of a tribal village in central Africa) which brings her state’s roll number up to 21 from 28. Huge improvement! Now Uttarakhand becomes the last-in-roll-call. Now it will be fun if they decide to re-rename their state using the same argument. And then Punjab, Rajasthan, Sikkim, Tamil Nadu, Tripura and Uttar Pradesh should do the same and boom! We are back to square one! And then Paschim Banga can think or renaming themselves further up in the alphabet. This cycle can go on and on and on. And millions of rupees of tax money can be spent on it. Meanwhile does it matter that the state has one of the worst road infrastructure in the country? Does it matter that the Naxal movement has resulted in night-travel ban on the important Mumbai-Howrah rail route resulting in trains being detained for upto eight hours inconveniencing thousands of travelers every day since the last fifteen months? Do these things need attention and money of the government? No, they can wait. More important is ensuring that the state’s name is not called out last during roll-calls.

Before these folks come up with the idea of changing the name of India itself, I will go and search for a new name for my blog because this one comes too late in the alphabetical order, so what if it doesn't matter anywhere.

The Longest Night

Genre: Non-fiction

Its yet another dark rainy Tuesday afternoon, common during Mumbai monsoons and at 2pm just after the lunch break, students in a class in VJTI in Matunga are discussing whether to sit for the next lecture or not, one eye on the heavy rain that is pouring outside. No unanimous decision is reached and half the class bunks the lecture and leaves while I am in the other half that decides to sit for one more hour before leaving, hoping the rain would subside by then. By the time the lecture is over, the rain has shown no signs of subsiding. Rather it is pouring harder, nothing unusual about it, we see days like these every monsoon. Me and Sid are taking a cab to Dadar station when dad calls on my mobile- "Do you want me to come to Dadar to pick you up? The trains may not be running". I shrug off his offer- "No need. I'll go to station and see. If trains are not running, I'll let you know". We reach Dadar station and heave a sigh of relief to see the indicators still showing Borivali Slow and Virar Fast as usual. We get into the First Class coach of 3.20 Borivali Slow and it runs smoothly through pouring rain to the first stop- Matunga Road and then to Mahim. After the usual 30 second stop, it departs and slowly ambles along and comes to a stop in the mangrove-filled area between Mahim and Bandra. 

Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, half an hour, the train shows no signs of moving. By now some passengers have jumped off the train and started walking on the tracks. Me and Sid discuss "How silly! Why can't they just wait inside rather than getting drenched like this." I call up dad and tell him the situation. He suggests coming to Dharavi overbridge by car and once he is there, I jump off the train and get on to the bridge and the car. We wait. An hour passes. And another. Dad says he is stuck somewhere in Chembur at the other end of town and suggests we do not wait for him and start moving ahead on our own. Now this is a bit worrying. We look around. Everyone has left the coach except us and one other man. We jump off the train onto the tracks, and not wanting to stay back alone, the Bihari man, we call him Gajodhar, also jumps with us. We walk along the length of the train towards Bandra and when we reach the driver's cabin, we realise the extraordinary situation at hand- the motorman has abandoned the train, locked the cabin and left! Now this is something I have never seen or heard happening in Mumbai rains. We walk along with hundreds of other passengers coming from various stranded trains until we reach the Mithi river bridge.

The railway bridge on Mithi river, though not very long, is treacherous. It has no walkway, no safety railings, in fact not even a firm base. There are metal sheets laid between the tracks, through which now we can see the usually quiet and stinky Mithi river now overflowing with water whose speed would put whitewater rafting locations to shame, and this just two feet below track level! There is no option, the river has to be crossed. Volunteers ask passengers to form a single human chain, holding each others hands, to carefully walk over the rickety metal sheets and cross the bridge. We somehow manage to do this, and think the ordeal is over since now we can safely perch ourselves at Bandra station, bot how wrong we are! The sight at Bandra station is one I have never seen before. All the tracks are filled with water upto platform levels and the entire station looks like Kumbh mela, overflowing with passengers occupying every single inch of available space. Now one thing is clear- there is no way trains are going to run anytime soon. We need to find alternate transport. We walk out of the station, hoping to walk to SV Road a few hundred meters away and take a bus from there, but wait! The entire road from station to SV Road is filled with knee deep water, and its dark. Impossible to walk through this. As if this is not enough, to add to our woes, Gajodhar has been following us all along and declares "I am new to this city. I don't know how to reach Borivali. I will come with you guys wherever you are going!"

Me and Sid look at each other and decide to go back to the station. On platform 2, there is one local train standing amidst deep water, powered down but filled with passengers. We tell Gajodhar to wait inside this train as it will go to Borivali while we go to use the washroom. Making sure he is well inside the train, we run away from that platform as fast as we can. Its around 8pm already when uncle finally manages to get through one call to my mobile through the congested network. He says he is travelling by car with his boss and should be crossing Bandra shortly, and ask me and Sid to manage reaching SV Road somehow. We walk out to the bus station. As we are discussing the possibilities, one BEST bus driver decides he will brave out the deep water on the road outside and take his bus to Bandstand! Immediately we hop onboard along with a hundred other passengers and ask him to drop us beyond the flooded street on to SV Road. As promised, he revs up the engines, turns on the headlights and pierces the bus through nearly three feet deep water and stops safely near SV Road where a majority of the passengers get off. We walk to the decided spot on SV Road and wait for uncle. We wait and wait. An hour passes. We see hordes and hordes of people walking and realise the situation doesn't seem good anywhere in the city. Around 9.30pm, uncle comes in his boss's car and we are overjoyed to find dry shelter and a ride home. Or so we think.

The driver decides to continue on SV Road since the highway is jam packed, but traffic cops divert us on to Linking Road citing water logging ahead. So far so good. There is traffic but its crawling at a decent pace. It takes an hour to reach Khar. From here, we are diverted into some small lanes where we get stuck and how. An hour passes but there are no signs of movement. Uncle's boss doesn't live far from here but we have a long way to go. So he suggests we rather get off and start walking like the others and after initial hesitation, we give in. Its around midnight now, the rain has stopped for a bit but some areas have power cut, so it is dark, wet and terribly crowded. By midnight we make our way to SV Road and start walking northwards with the huge crowd. Students, office goers, businessmen in expensive suits, celebrities, everyone is walking together, Mother Nature has brought everyone to one level. Upto Santacruz the walk goes fine but then its trouble. SV Road around Juhu airport is flooded with two feet of water but thankfully there is help at hand. hard working folks from Mumbai Fire Brigade have formed a human chain, have ropes set out for people to hold on to, and are guarding open manhole covers. In one single line, hundreds and hundreds of people slowly cross the long waterlogged stretch. We are hungry, dead tired but our survival instinct keeps us going and we reach Andheri station by 3am.

Once at Andheri, we hope the trains have started running again so we head straight to the station, but no luck. There are trains parked on every platform, packed with passengers, but with no signs of moving. Also, walking further is not possible since the cops have closed SV Road north of Andheri station due to excessive water logging. There is no option but to find shelter somewhere close by. Sid lives in Andheri but far from the station, so the ordeal is not over for him either. Luckily soon he finds a truck driver who is willing to take people onboard and drive towards where Sid lives, so he hops onboard. Me and uncle cross over to the east side and head to a building nearby where one of our relatives live. We walk into the colony, dead tired, in the dark owing to powercut, and find our way up the stairs and ring the doorbell. No answer. Ring again. No answer. Finally we ring the doorbell of their neighbours who wake up startled. We ask them to phone our relatives and wake them from sleep! They do it, and finally the door opens and we get a place to sleep for the night, or whatever was left of it, since it was already 4am. We wake up and head to Andheri station by 10am, and turns out, by then train services north of Andheri is just beginning to restart, although not as per timetable. After a half hour wait, the train we are onboard starts, and slowly but steadily drops us at Malad station, from where its a five minute walk to Home Sweet Home! 

Thus ended the ordeal. The journey that took 20 hours to travel 20 kilometers. Thus ended the night the city suffered as one, came out in the dead hours to help each other and stand united. Thus ended the longest night Mumbai city has seen. The night of 26th July 2005.  

When Will This Stop?

Genre: Current Affairs

So, yesterday Mumbai once again witnessed serial bomb blasts. 1993, 2003, 2005, 2008 and now again. Once again the common citizens of the city have lost lives even as the culprit of the previous attacks enjoys VIP treatment in special jail and the netas of the state "offer deep condolences", their lazy fat asses safely tucked behind a wall of security personnel. This has reached a stage when I no longer feel enraged at the terrorists doing these attacks. The rage is entirely towards the spineless incapable government, of the state as well in Delhi. As someone had rightly said, Civilizations fall not so much because of the strength of the enemy outside, as through the weakness and decay within. 

Now the moment I say this, some smart Alec will come up with the straight-out-of-Civics-textbook statement that "it is we who elected this government, so whatever is happening is our fault, and next time we should ensure we bring the right people to power". True, very true theoretically, but if only things were as simple as that in reality. Did "we" really elect this government to power? Talking of myself, I did not. In the last election, many of us did not vote for the well-known corrupt candidate. We went by the "We want change" principle and voted for an IIT engineer who was contesting the election with the utopian idea of "Be the change you want to see". But what happened? He lost badly and like every time, the same corrupt politician won the election. How? Votebanks. In this "largest democracy in the world", most of the winners are decided much ahead of the election date. How and why does this happen?  

Take an example. Before every election, a politician from a certain party visits a slum locality near my residence and offers the people living there a cash incentive and foodgrains to vote for him. If he did this to me, it wouldn't swing me in favour of voting for him, because for me principles matter more than the money. But does the same apply for my maid who lives in that slum? No. For her, the money matters more than principles. Why? Because she is poor. Why? Because she is uneducated. Can I do something about this? Yes, encourage her to send her kids to school so that they don't get pulled into this same quicksand. In the meantime, how do the existing politicians afford to spend so much money on their votebanks? Because they are shamelessly corrupt and accumulate millions of rupees in bribes. Can we stop this? Theoretically yes. How? By getting a strong anti-corruption bill passed in the Parliament. Will it happen? No. Why? Because the sitting MPs will reject any bill that plugs their "source of income". Why? Because they are in power and they can unanimously do what they want to. Can we remove them from power and get someone else in? Theoretically yes, but practically nearly impossible. Why? Because they have vote banks. Why do so many people vote for corrupt politicians for money? Because they are poor. Why? Because they have not got enough opporunities to get educated. Can we get them all educated? Possible, but a Herculean task. Will the existing government want to sincerely do it? No. Because that would mean digging their own grave. Why educate everyone and make them rise up to vote on principles and get thrown out of power when its easier to "buy" their votes with little money? 

In short, this is a very messy vicious spiral. If India aspires to truly become a world superpower, this spiral has to stop. How to do it is a very difficult question to answer but someone has to do it. Someone who? We, the citizens of India. We need to realize voting is not the only way to bring about change. Do we have that potential to bring about the change? Yes, we do. Incidentally, the people of India showed what potential they have to come together and unite for a cause yesterday itself, in the aftermath of the serial bomb blasts. While the TV news channels were busy shouting out irrelevant stuff about how they were the first to report the blasts and assorted bullshit, scores of unknown heroes, common men and women from across the country, had risen to the occasion to quickly send out accurate information and help anyone and everyone in need, on Twitter. Within minutes of the blasts, hundreds of unnamed citizens had given out their phone numbers and addresses on the social networking site offering complete strangers either a place to come over to stay, a ride back home from work, food, first aid, blood etc. Someone came up with this brilliant idea of collecting this information from the tweets into a Google doc spreadsheet and within one hour there was a list of over 250 people in different parts of Mumbai whom people affected by the blasts could contact for help. This particular document soon went viral and many of you must have noticed it being shared on Facebook too. This is the power of social networking. This is a small trailer of what the citizens of India can do when united for a cause. But to bring about a pathbreaking change such as overthrowing a government, it will not be enough for just the Facebook-Twitter junta of India to unite. It will require encouraging the very large poor and illiterate population of the country too to join in and fight for principles. This will need someone who can bring the whole country together. Something like what Hitler did in post World War I Germany. And in the current scenario, I can think of only one personality in India who has that influence over the entire nation that people will come out and do whatever he asks them to do- yes, Sachin Tendulkar! But I don't see him doing that anytime soon, so we have no option but to wait until that one messiah comes up and unites the entire nation against the corrupt leadership. India needs an Egypt type revolution. 

Until then, keep outraging, take out candle marches, talk about "the spirit of Mumbai" and keep paying taxes on time so that the netas can continue to afford to travel with their security cordons and Kasab can enjoy one more serving of his favorite biryani.  

The India Flight Checklist

Genre: Travel

The next time you take a flight to India from any airport in the United States, or vice versa, take this checklist along and cross out each event as it happens. If you happen to cross out everything, be rest assured your flight was normal.

[ ] A perfectly healthy senior citizen walks up to the airport check-in counter and asks for "free" wheelchair assistance.

[ ] A queue of 100+ passengers forms at the gate long before boarding is to begin

[ ] "Pre-boarding for passengers with small kids" is announced and passengers with 15 year old kids queue up to board

[ ] "Boarding Rows 31 and above" is announced and a passenger with seat in row under 30 walks up to gate, only to be sent back

[ ] Atleast one passenger approaches to request 'seat adjustment'

[ ] A Smart Alec reclines his/her seat after Flight Attendants have checked everyone's seats to be upright for takeoff preparation

[ ] A cellphone rings minutes after captain has announced "Turn off all electronic devices"

[ ] A passenger stands up and/or walks in the aisle after the plane has started taxiing towards the runway.

[ ] Queue forms outside restrooms, in spite of "Restroom Occupied" signs illuminated and visible.

[ ] A passenger takes out a bag of thepla when dinner is served

[ ] More than half of the total number of meals loaded onboard are labelled AVML (Asian Vegetarian Meal)

[ ] A passenger asks for two servings of alcohol. At once.

[ ] The moment the plane touches down, 100 people stand up from their seats and choke the aisles, and stare blankly.

[ ] A passenger runs and/or pushes fellow passengers on the way to board the bus to the terminal

Yes we are Indians. We are like that only.

(Not-so) Tourist Friendly Map of Mumbai

Genre: Random


Inspired by Krish Ashok's Madras Map, presenting a map of Mumbai that is very tourist friendly. Or maybe not.



Satellite Image Courtesy Google Earth. Edited and used for non-commercial purpose only.

The Unforgettable Moment

Genre: Sports

A million articles would be written about India's victory in the 2011 Cricket World Cup, so why am I writing one more? Because, since several years, I have been told stories by my parents and uncles about how the country celebrated when India won the World Cup in 1983, in the era of 60 over cricket and transistor radio commentary. So, now it is my turn to archive memories of this glorious occasion to narrate to my kids twenty years down the line.

The year is 2011. Twenty20 and IPL have begun to dominate the Indian cricket scene. Some people have started calling traditional 50 over ODIs "boring" and "outdated". Enter World Cup 2011, being hosted mainly on Indian soil, with Sri Lanka anfd Bangladesh sharing some matches. That one chance for 50 over cricket to regain its lost popularity. It did, and how! Instead of after-office T20 tamasha, once again the cricket crazy Indians around the world began to spend entire days watching matches, even if it meant bunking college, taking off from office, or waking up at unearthly hours if they are in other timezones, like I did. In spite of being 15,000 km away from the actual action, it has been a memorable World Cup experience. 

Two days before the start of World Cup, someone mooted the idea of screening World Cup games on campus. Since Star Cricket does not telecast matches in USA, the only legal option was to purchase a subscription of Willow TV. Students were asked to contribute $2 each, and who would have thought that time that these were going to be the best $2 we ever spent. And so the stage was set. Thanks to timezone differences, all India matches, scheduled as day-night encounters, started at 4am local time here. Logistics were worked out, the car-owning students driving remaining fans to campus in the dead of the night, Virginia Tech graciously allowing us the use of TV room at the International Center, and we were set.

The first match against Bangladesh saw a small but enthusiastic crowd, complete with Indian flag, vuvuzelas et al. The next match against England was worth every minute spent, ending in a nail biting tie. Every Indian boundary and opposition wicket were cheered, while boundaries by opposition resulted in reaction that is, to put it subtly, not suitable for family audience. And this became the usual story for every game that India played. That is, until the Semi-finals.

Then came the big one. India vs Pakistan. World Cup Semi-final. Stuff every cricket fan's dreams are made of. Obviously the TV room was not going to be enough for this occasion. So we upgraded to bigger arena. Now it was time to watch on big screen. And it was a weekday. So, classes were bunked (a rare occurence for engineering grad students in a US university), labs were rescheduled, assignements were completed way before deadline, and eight hours on  Wednesday, March 30, 2011 were spent in an extreme display of patriotism, furiously cheering every Indian run, and meeting every Pakistani boundary with choicest display of colorful language in the form of the popular chant that goes "Mohali mein aaya bhoot, Pakistan ki...(complete with rhyming profanity)" and not to forget the all time favorite- "Gali gali mein shor hai, Pakistan chor hai!". And at the end of it, when India won, it was celebration like never seen before. I was seeing so many grad students so happy  for the first time in my two years here! It was a dream come true. Indian cricket fans attaining nirvana. Nothing could be bigger than this. But wait, there is more!

Come Saturday, April 2, 2011. The Final. India vs Sri Lanka. Waking up at 3.45am, watching Sangakarra make a mockery of the toss bordering on blatant cheating, almost giving up hope before start of game when Dhoni announced Sreesanth is in team instead of Ashwin, heading to the auditorium of the local church on campus in freezing cold, cracking customary Rajinikanth jokes on seeing him in the stadium, watching Jayawardene bat like a hero hell bent on stealing a victory for Lanka, the church people giving a pleasant surprise by graciously offering free breakfast for the hungry crazy students, Malinga getting Sehwag out with scoreboard reading 0/1, The God getting out early with score looking even more ominous at 31/2, Gambhir and Kohli playing a slow sensible inning to stabilize the chase, getting into the typical Wankhede atmosphere with chants of "Sachin Sachin " and "Ganpati Bappa Morya", watching captain Dhoni himself hit that final six into the stands to end it all in the best possible way and breaking out into insane celebration, it has been a truly epic day.

All these sleepless nights over the past six weeks, listening to Ravi Shastri who goes on and one like a tracer bullet with his torture-on-ears commentary, which included gems like "This stand is veru sunny right now, that's why it has been named Sunny Gavaskar Stand", feeling like pulling hair every time Sanjay Manjrekar said "Tainduulkar", bearing Willow TV's heights-of-cliche advertising, from "gujaratimatrimony.com for NRI Gujaratis like us" to "G1G Insurance for parents visiting USA" to powerpoint-slide ads of estate agents and software consultancies, screaming "Jeetega bhai jeetega, India jeetega!" thousands of times until throat went totally hoarse, all of it seemed totally worth it for that one scene- Indian team carrying The God aka Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar around Wankhede for a victory lap. Absolute speechless moment.

I have never been that crazy a sports lover that I get emotional over wins and losses, but the sight today, of Sachin running into the field, later draped in an Indian flag made me teary eyed, further pushed by Virat Kohli's soon-to-become-immemorial lines "For twenty one years this man has carried a nation's burden, the least we can do tonight is carry him on our shoulders". 

Dhoni lifting the World Cup trophy and the celebration that followed has been an occasion that has overwhelmed my emotions, so much so that for hours after the match I was in a state of clueless limbo as to what exactly happened and why am I grinning for no reason. Of course adding to the fun was the fact that it is the day of International Street Fair on Virginia Tech campus, and after the match, around a hundred Indian students march into the venue, screaming, shouting carrying Indian flags and Dhobighaat Blues, our local band, dedicating songs to the Indian team resulting in massive cheers from the Indian crowd, leaving everyone else at the venue flabbergasted! The day has long come to an end, but the celebrations have not. 

It will take some time for the feeling to sink in, but the fact remains - 

INDIA. WORLD CHAMPIONS. 2011. \m/

e-Love Story

Genre: Fiction

It was a calm night in New Delhi. Earlier in the day, hundreds of workers of the city's public transit company had gone on a pre-declared strike complaining about some of their long pending demands, forcing thousands of commuters to look for alternative means. Surya, a final year engineering student at IIT Delhi posted his views about the strike on Facebook. Nisha, an Aerospace Engineering student from the same institute ranted about the troubles she had to face due to the strike in comments to Surya's post. Half way across the world, sitting in his lab on a sunny morning, Aryan was glancing through his Facebook feed when he chanced upon this conversation. An IIT Delhi alumni, now pursuing his PhD in Computer Science at Harvard, he got slightly annoyed with Nisha's comments. Although coming from the same college, he had hardly ever interacted with Surya, and never known Nisha, yet he decided to jump into the discussion with his two cents. Not the one to give up, Nisha replied with more arguments, and Aryan countered them with more of his. Eventually the discussion died down but impressed with Nisha's in-depth analysis, he sent her a Facebook Friend Request, which Nisha promptly accepted.    

As it happens with all online friendships, the next step was exchanging email addresses and adding each other on GTalk. A casual conversation at first, they soon realised they share more passions in common than just analysis of Delhi's current affairs. As time passed, Aryan and Nisha started chatting online frequently, about random things under the sun. A month later, Aryan came to Delhi in his summer vacations, and that's when they finally saw each other in person and heard each other's voice. By then, they had already hit off well online, so phone numbers were exchanged and for the time Aryan was in Delhi, they interacted a lot over text messages, rarely talked on the phone, and never met again in person during the remainder of Aryan's stay in Delhi. Once back to Harvard, medium of interaction between Aryan and Nisha went back to GTalk chats. A few months later, it was that time of the year when thousands of engineering students across India apply to colleges in USA for higher education, and look for students already in US to get free career counselling. 

Enter Myra, Nisha's best friend and one of those counselling candidates. Nisha introduced her to Aryan and they hit it off right from Day 1. A little counselling, a little timepass, sometimes with Myra, sometimes with Nisha, and often with both, Aryan had now found two new buddies from his alma mater whom he never knew earlier. Between counselling Myra and pursuing his own PhD, with every passing day Aryan started spending more and more time with Nisha, chatting at odd hours about anything and everything from sports to politics to movies to happenings in their personal lives. Come December and Aryan went back to Delhi, and met Nisha at one of IIT Delhi's favorite hangouts, and this time it was Myra whom he met for the first time in person, after extensively interacting via GTalk. The three of them met a couple of times more before Aryan had to return to Harvard. By now the friendship between them had grown strong.

Was it just friendship? Between Aryan and Myra, yes. Between Aryan and Nisha, nobody could tell, including themselves. Engrossed in his love for robotics, drawing and football, Aryan had never dated a girl all his life, never knew what first signs of love feel, and had no idea how to ask a girl out if ever that moment came. Nisha was no different, intellectual and enthusiastic about dancing and painting, but single all through college, with some of her friends even ridiculing her that she was not programmed to be normal and think about guys from a romantic point of view. Meanwhile, the bond between the two had grown so strong that Aryan would wake up to a Good Morning ping from Nisha, and she would sleep only after a Good Night chat from Aryan. All this time, without letting Aryan know, Myra, herself in a steady relationship since three years, was trying to gather hints and nudge Nisha to listen to her instincts. On the other hand, Aryan was confused. He had had momentary crushes on several girls during his college days and none of those girls had shown any interest in response to his hints, and although he was feeling the same about Nisha, he had no idea if this was just one of those one-sided feelings or something more. 

One fine day next Spring, Aryan was working in his computer lab, simultaneously chatting with Nisha, as was the usual routine now. Between some random conversations, Nisha asked Aryan casually if he considered her as a girlfriend. Not knowing how to react, Aryan instinctively typed out his inner feelings. Turned out, this is exactly what Nisha was waiting to hear, just not willing to take the first step herself. And so it was done. No candle-light dinner, no romantic proposal, no well-planned dates. All it took was some courage. And GTalk.  

Rest In Pieces

Genre: Current Affairs

So far in my life, there have been only two people for whom I have wished instant death, because they just don't deserve to be alive. One of the wishes got fulfilled today, so it is time to celebrate. Yes, I am happy Arjun Singh died, and I am not the only one saying this. I was following Twitter updates in the hours after the news of his death broke out, and the ratio of celebratory to condolence messages was almost 100:1. Never before have I seen so many educated Indians celebrate a death. So, why this strange reaction now? Because the man deserved it.

For the uninitiated, Arjun Singh was the Human Resource Development minister in the Indian government and besides other cases of corruption and manipulative politics including mishandling of the Bhopal Gas Tragedy case, he was a vehemant supporter of caste-based reservations in admissions to presitigious engineering and management colleges of India. Now, per se, it is a good thing to promote education for all, and I am all for it, having myself participated in Teach India program teaching street kids who cannot afford school fees. But the method adopted by Arjun Singh was downright wrong, unfair and implemented for the sole purpose of gaining political mileage. Providing education to backward caste kids is one thing, but keeping aside seats in premier institutes and handing them on a platter to certain students simply because they have a paper that says they belong to a certain caste is outright stupid.

The caste-based reservation system must have spoilt the careers of millions of Indian kids over the years, and I will narrate a couple of examples how- when I applied for admission to VJTI in 2005, out of 60 seats available for Electronics Engineering, only 19 (yes, nineteen only) seats were offered to students on the basis of their merit. A whopping 68% seats were reserved for students under various quotas- female quote, Scheduled Caste quota, Scheduled Tribes quote, Other Backward Class quota and so on. How does this affect a student's career? This is how- the admission to VJTI was through Maharashtra state Common Entrance Test (CET). The cut-off for Open category male students was 191/200. My friend who had scored a healthy 188/200 in CET could not get admission to his course of choice. However, a common friend of ours, with a mediocre score of 110/200 made his way in to the said class. How? Because he held a piece of paper that proclaimed he belongs to the "backward caste". So, was he indeed poor, backward and oppressed? Well, he used to come to college on a swanky bike, armed with an iPod and an expensive cellphone. Imagine yourself in the shoes of that friend whose dream of studying at a premier educational institute, for which he had studied day and night for 2 years, was crushed and several relatively undeserving students walked in, because they had a certain piece of paper. So, if there was no reservation, would he have made it? Quite easily, considering his rank among applicants to the said course was 43. If all the 60 seats were available on the basis of merit alone, he would have accomplished his dream of getting a B Tech degree from VJTI. This is just one example. Cases like this happen every year with students aspiring admission to the presitigious IITs, IIMs, AIIMS and other institutes seeing their dreams crushed, thanks to one man- Arjun Singh.

So, if this was unfair, did the students not protest? They did, we all did. Coming together under the banner of Youth for Equality (YFE), a non-commercial non-politically aligned group, comprising of college students and their parents asking for appreciation of merit. Unlike some political groups who resort to violence, demage to public property and vandalism to protest, we chose the democratic way. YFE conducted protest rallies (one of which me and my friends attended in the middle of our final exams), organized awareness drives (in one of which, me and a friend stood a whole day in heavy rain explaining new college applicants the consequences of reservation system), several students at AIIMS went on a hunger strike and YFE submitted petitions in court. And what happened? On orders by the government, students in Mumbai were treated like criminals and beaten up in the middle of the road and the petition in Supreme Court was quashed by Arjun Singh's ministry, and this is when the Chief Justice handling the case famously said "if this is how the government wants to function, why don't we just put a lock on the court?". Having seen all this, it is natural that the news of death of the man responsible for it is received with cheer and happiness.

So here it is, to the man who screwed up India's education system- Rest in Pieces in Hell, and if you plan to go to Heaven, make sure to carry your reservation certificate, because for sure you do not have enough marks to make it through on Merit. *

* Last line courtesy my friend Pranay Karwa