The Joys (and Sorrows) of High Flying

Genre: Travel

First a confession. Reading about this envy-worthy achievement of one of my best friends was the inspiration for this piece of long pointless writing that follows.

It is a common complaint among normal people that air travel is a long boring annoying task with nothing interesting to look frward to, but I am among those abnormal people who beg to differ- yes, the class of geeks called aviation enthusiasts. Although a recent obsession, my interest in metal birds and the stuff that controls them, in the air and on the ground, has taken off quite steeply. For 21 years of my life, I had never been on an airplane, not even inside an airport, partially due to my deep love for trains and partially due to economic considerations, and now in the last 18 months, I have been on 20 flights, including 10 in the last two months taking me through some of the world's biggest and busiest airports- Heathrow (London), Brussels, JFK, Newark Liberty, La Guardia (New York), Hartsfield Jackson (Atlanta), Logan (Boston) to medium sized ones like Charlotte, Mumbai, Kuwait to the tiny ones like Roanoke in Virginia, USA. 

So, what is it about planes and flying that is interesting? Everything, well, almost. The fun starts before the actual flight. I love airports, the big ones with multiple terminals and hundreds of check-in counters. Although functionally similar, all of them have a unique flavour and character to them, if you observe carefully. While Mumbai's Chhatrapati Shivaji International with its swanky renovated concourses but staff with outdated equipments truly reflects 21st century India- developing but not fully developed yet, London Heathrow is typical British- stylish but toned down while JFK International is completely what New York City is- huge, glamorous, shiny, confusing, crowded, chaotic and full of life. What is boring is that whatever be the character of the airport, you have to do the same boring ritual everywhere- stand in long queues for check-in, hand over your bags into the mouths of conveyer belts running into unknown worlds, take off your shoes, coat, laptop, cell phone, camera, wallet, coins and everything else that a terrorist would NOT use to blow off a plane and walk through a metal detector, and head to the gate area.  

The wait at the gate area is one of my favorite parts of air travel, but only if there is a clear view of the apron, taxiways and runways, which is almost always the case, except at some brilliantly designed terminals like Mumbai's International T2 where you have to sit staring at empty walls and LCD TVs playing Rakhi ka Insaaf. For the curious souls like me, the view from the gate area has always had something interesting to offer- like my first sight of the Airbus A380 Superjumbo at JFK or a glimpse of a plane from rare airline like Royal Brunei at London. Once the flight is announced for boarding, it is a sight worth seeing. If you are at any Indian airport (or New Jersey for that matter), the scene resembles a fish market. Even before the staff fnishes announcing "Flight XXX is ready for boarding", over hundred passengers, sitting scattered across the hall will arrive in lightning speed to form a huge queue, knowing fully well that all airlines board their passengers by row numbers and no plane ever departs without taking the last passenger aboard. My most memorable experience here has been at JFK where a queue of almost 150 people (yes, no kidding!) had formed at the gate and the lady asked passengers in Rows 31 to 37 ONLY to start boarding. I got up from my seat, calmly looked at the queue, and entered the aerobridge first while all the impatient junta, none of whom had seats in Rows 31 to 37 kept waiting!

On all my 20 flights, I have had window seats in the rear half of the plane, which means boarding first and waiting till all the impatient passengers eventually board at the slow rate a single aerobridge allows. Once that is done and the customary safety instructions announced, starts my most interesting part of air travel- the stage from pushback from the gate to takeoff. If you have a little knowledge of runway numbering, air traffic control and a keen observation, the sight from the window is fun to watch, especially at big airports with multiple runways. If you observe carefully, the manner in which ATC manages takeoffs and landings is simply amazing at super-busy hubs, something I have loved admiring. At London Heathrow, it was best use of two parallel runways on display- on Runway 09R, landings were scheduled so optimally that the moment one plane lands and slows down out from the runway onto the taxiway, another one touches down at other end of runway, and this goes on and on. At the same time on Runway 09L, its rapid takeoffs. The moment one plane lifts off the ground, another one is asked to line up on the runway and the line continues. At Boston, it was best use of crossing runways on display- all landings lined up towards Runway 33 while all takeoffs schedule from Runway 27, with both runways intersecting midway. The moment one plane lands on Runway 33, one plane is lined up at end of Runway 27, immediately as the landing plane crosses the intersection point, the plane ready to takeoff is given clearance, and this sequence went on continously. And how can I forget the joy of seeing parallel landings and parallel takeoffs at Atlanta- stuff you can do when you have five parellel runways! Needless to say, after seeing this, I am totally addicted to trying it out myself on Airport Madness. And how do I know all these layouts and runway number etc? Well, the curious cat that I am, I check out the Google Maps image of the airports I am flying out of! (By the way, check out the current Google Maps image of Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport- there are 144 planes lined up at the gates at the same time, incredible by any means!) 

The first few minutes after takeoff and the last few minutes before landing are my favorite times for photography. Whether day or night, there are always spectacular views to cherish. Be it spotting the Verrazano Narrows Bridge before landing in to LaGuardia New York or the flypast over illuminated Manhattan or stunning views of desert at Kuwait or the priceless glimpse of my own Mumbai from the air, I have enjoyed all of it and more. The landing, they say, is a real test of the pilot's skills, and in spite of knowing it is safer than driving, it still gives me goosebumps. The only saving grace is when there are friendly pilots who talk to the passengers before landing, like on my recent trip to Boston, the captain gave all details that normal passengers would not want- "In thirteen minutes we will be landing at Boston Logan International Airport. Currently we are heading west, soon we will take a full U-turn and land from the east on Runway 27. Wind gusts near the ground measure 24 knots, so we will have a bumpy landing. Be prepared." 

Once airborne, the only thing to look forward to, or maybe not, is the food. Although I have got everything from Pav Bhaji to Kanda Pohe on international flights, I will not go into the details and rather point out that the "poore-India-mein-world-famous" blogger Krishashok has summed up the plane food experience perfectly. And, what about the period when you are actually in air, cruising between takeoff and landing? How is it? Extremely boring and annoying. Period.

Of ABCDs and NRIs

Genre: Humor

A glance at my Facebook timeline or GTalk statuses of friends currently would give one an impression that the year is 2012 and the dreaded Apocalypse is nearing, what with countdowns of "X Days to go!" type all over the place; but worry not- this is just the annual migration season when thousands of Indian students from universities all over USA make a Swades trip. For the benefit of those who are making their first trip to India after coming to USA, here are some (not-so) useful tips on how to act like a seasoned NRI or ABCD as desired appropriate-

A week before heading home, go to Dollar Tree / Wal-Mart and pick up random cheap stuff like perfumes, Nivea cold creams and Toblerone chocolates to give to friends and relatives who will pretend to happily receive them as if they have never seen these items in India.

The moment you land at the airport, complain- "Oh man! It's so hot!", even if your flight arrives at 3am and the outside temperature is 15 degree C.

On the way home, exclaim "Oh My God! Why the hell is there a cow on the road!". Yes, do it even if you have seen hundred cows on the road before heading to USA.

Crib about the infrastructure- the airport is so messy, roads are so dirty, air is so polluted, anything.

Even if it is 30 degrees C, go out wearing a GAP sweatshirt (No, don't tell me you don't have one- ever since SRK sported it in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, every damn Indian worth his name living in USA owns GAP clothing :P)

When visiting relatives, act extremely melodramatic traditional. Even if you have never ever done it when you were in India earlier, greet all elders with namaste and touch their legs to get blessings (and money!)

Use random American words in conversation. When someone asks "chai thanda kuch loge?", say you will have "soda" or "decaf coffee".

Buy some stuff from your local kirana store (not supermarkets) and offer your credit card for payment. When denied, express surprise- "What! You don't accept credit cards? India is still so underdeveloped!"

Act excessively concerned about hygiene. When at a local udipi restaurant, ask if the cook is wearing hand gloves and hairnet and if the food has been prepared using mineral water.

Compare and praise American transport facilities with Indian counterparts. While on any road, point out "Look at all these potholes. In America, the highways are so smooth. Its so much fun driving at 75 miles/hour on I-95", knowing fully well that nobody else cares a damn or knows what is I-95.

Last and most important point- talk in a fake American accent, even when speaking Hindi.

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PS: OK, everyone heading home this month- Aisa kuch mat karna. Aaram se ghar jaao, road pe pani puri khao, rickshaw me ghumo aur masti karke aao. Have a safe flight and enjoy holidays!

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A Tale of Two Cities

Genre: Travel

Christmas holidays took me to the destination I was dying to visit – New York City and having lived for 22 years in Mumbai, the first thing that came to my mind on seeing New York was - “Wow! This city is so much like Mumbai!”. Apart from the geographical similarity of both megacities being on long narrow islands and having huge natural harbors, New York and Mumbai are like identical twin cities in many aspects.

As any Mumbaikar would testify, the best and the fastest way to travel across Mumbai is by the local trains, similarly the most convenient way to traverse across New York is the Subway. The gigantic network lets you travel virtually anywhere taking the ‘A’ train, ‘B’ train, ‘C’ train…all the way upto ‘W’ train and ‘1’ train, ‘2’ train right upto ‘7’ train. This can baffle first-timers, but not a Mumbaikar who has spent years deciphering A, B, Ba, Bo, Bl, Bs, By, C, D, G, etc on Mumbai’s suburban train network. Like Mumbai’s suburban stations, New York’s Subway stations are old, dirty, littered with trash; trains are crowded, hardly state-of-the-art but very frequent, dependable and run throughout the day, much like the Mumbai locals. Not just this, below Broadway in Manhattan run four tracks of Subway – two for Local services and two for Express, like Mumbai’s Slow and Fast lines.

Out of the Subway, the city of New York resembles Mumbai in many more ways. A drive on Broadway between Midtown Manhattan and Downtown Manhattan gives a feel of driving on Colaba Causeway with scores of shops selling everything from clothes to jewelry and the sidewalks filled with tourists exploring the area on foot. Enter Grand Central Terminal and it feels like Mumbai's equally grand VT station. Midtown Manhattan is even more Mumbai-like with street food sellers at every corner selling hot dogs to Falafels (a New York specialty) to Chicken Rice at (relatively) affordable rates and hawkers occupying walking space on footpaths selling ladies purses, tshirts, junk jewelry and accessories at throwaway prices. Reminds of Linking Road, ain’t it?

Just like how the townships of Mira Road, Thane or Navi Mumbai developed beyond the boundaries of Mumbai’s island city providing affordable housing to working classes, New York city extends far beyond the well-known island of Manhattan into the boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn and one look at the area reveals the similarity with Mumbai’s extended suburbs. Taking a ferry from the southern tip of Manhattan to Staten Island across the New York harbor offers spectacular view of Downtown Manhattan and I couldn’t help but relate it to similar experience back in Mumbai when one takes the ferry from Gateway of India to Elephanta Island.

Extending far beyond these physical similarities, is the similarity in the way of life in the two megecities – hectic, fast-paced, where everyone is always on the run and there is never a dull moment. Truly, these are the Cities That Never Sleep!

Journey Of a Century..er.. Shatabdi

FOREWORD: Though it appears so at first look, this post is NOT about trains or railfanning. Non-railfans may safely go ahead and read it.

Adventure, it seems, has become synonymous with all my trips of late. What else can explain a mundane one-day trip to meet relatives in Baroda turning into a once-in-a-lifetime experience? The original plan was pretty straightforward- take the Shatabdi Express at 7am from Borivali, reach Baroda at 11am, spend four hours with my US-return sister, catch the Shatabdi Express from Baroda at 4pm and reach back home by 9pm. As simple as that. Or so it seems. Destiny, however, had different plans for me. So here we go-

As per original plan, me, Dad and Mom reach Borivali station early morning and board the Shatabdi Express at 7:00am. Amidst drizzling showers, the Loco Pilot does a clinically perfect job of hauling the Shatabdi according to its reputation, pulling into Vapi at 08:35 am, 150km in 1 hour 35 minutes flat! By this time, we had been served Tea, Biscuits, and breakfast consisting of Upma and Bread-Butter-Jam followed by a mango juice. All this nicely stuffed inside my stomach, (it's FREE food, how can you let anything of it go waste?) I was feeling sleepy just when the trouble began.

Our train was made to halt at a wayside station called Bhestan for a good 15 minutes. Maybe some technical problem, we thought. But then, we crawled upto the next station- Udhna where the train was again stopped. By this time, my friend in Baroda had sms-ed me that due to flooding at Makarpura near Baroda, rail services have been disrupted. At Udhna, dozens of suited-booted businessmen (who comprise a majority of the Shatabdi crowd) were out on the platform waiting anxiously for the signal ahead to turn green. One gentleman, around four coaches ahead, was animatedly shouting into his cellphone- "Tereko samajh me nahi aata kya b******. Idhar ruka ke rakha hai saala. Abe c*****, aa jaaunga main thode time me...". However, the crowd, except me, was in no mood to enjoy this free-show!

After a brief wait, we pulled into Surat. We were greeted with announcement- "2009 Shatabdi Express ke sabhi yaatri dhyaan de- ye gaadi agli suchna milne tak yahaan ruki rahegi." Damn! Boredof sitting indoors, almost half of the the train's 1000-odd passengers were out on the platform now. The food-stall owners, sensing a big business opportunity, started preparing huge quantities of bhajiya, khaman, toast sandwiches, vada pao and so on. I walked upto the engine and enquired with the Pilot. It turned out that flood waters were flowing above danger mark at two bridges near Baroda and as a result, till further notice, no train was allowed to go further. After an hour's wait, it was announced- "Platform Number 1 pe khadi Shatabdi Express ke sabhi yatri apna sthaan grahan kare. Ye gaadi kuch hi samay me nikalne ki taiyari me hain". It was nice on their part to give this advance warning but it turned out to be a hoax call. Fifeteen minutes later, same warning was repeated and this time we actually departed at 11:15am, after spending an hour and half at Surat.

The Loco Pilots showed a sense of urgency and speeded up the train upto the maximum limit it could and everything was going well when we were given an unscheduled halt at Miyagam Karjan Junction at 1:45pm. The kilometre stone outside read- "376". Dad remarked how my sister had come 20,000 km from the USA but we may miss meeting her by mere 20km! So near, yet so far! The passengers were now restless (and hungry) because breakfast was served five hours ago and lunch would be served only after Baroda. Most of them had now resigned to fate and were seen making the most of the unexpected delays by getting out on the platform and socialising. Some enterprising ones even went to the market outside the station and brought some hot kernels of corn to savour in the drizzling rain! Half an hour into the stop, Sayaji Nagari Express pulled into Miyagam from Baroda side and we rushed to their passengers to get a first hand report of what lies ahead for us. "There is water, water everywhere.It took us four hours to cover this 20km distance. Your actual journey will begin now", quipped one youngster, sending a wave of shock across our train!

After an hour, when it seemed that we may have to wait here for longer than expected, the catering staff of Shatabdi decided to throw the rules to the dogs and serve lunch to everyone (generally, lunch is served only to Ahmedabad bound passengers and not to Baroda ones). This brought in some reliefas everyone spent the next half hour savouring their packed lunch in the air-conditioned comfort of the coaches. Good news came at 3:15pm when we were given the green signal. But this was short-lived. At the very next station named Kashipura (this was the worst of the lot and did not even have a proper platform) we were made to wait again. The journey resumed at 03:45pm and now everyone was curious to know how grim is the flood situation ahead. Our train was put on the Up line as the Down line was appearently damaged by the floodwaters. Rules state that all doors of high-speed trains like Shatabdi should be kept closed throughout the journey but who cares! The curious passengers had opened all doors of all coaches and and occupied every inch of available space in the doorway to get a "good view"! (Ofcourse, I was one of the front-runners in this movement!)

The flood situation, it turned out, was much worse than what I had expected. Brown mucky waters all around, trees under water, people perched on rooftops of buildings partly submerged under water- scenes we normally see only on news channels were right in front of me. A certain bridge on a river called Dhadhar had been damaged by the raging floodwaters and workers were toiling to repair it as soon as possible. A goods train was made to halt on the damaged track on the bridge so that its weight can prevent the bridge from being washed away by floodwaters! This left only one track open for traffic from both sides and this is what had caused the massive pile-upof trains. Finally we reached a half-submerged Baroda at 4:45pm, after a five and half hour delay in a four hour journey! But there was no time to rest- our return tickets were booked in the same train and we needed to confirm as to what time wouldthe return train leave. The enquiry counters at Baroda were overflowing with hundreds of stranded passengers. This is when Dad decided to take the easier (though not exactly legal) way out- he approached the Station Manager directly and managed to get a cofirmation from him that the return train would arrive by around 8pm. One does not expect a person holding such a high office as The Station Manager of Vadodara Junction to answer such trivial queries but it was a kind gesture from him in time of crisis.

We finished our social nitty-gritties in the four hours we had at hand and returned to Baroda station by 8pm. Our return tickets were Waitlisted and had got confirmed only last moment, so we did not know our seat numbers. Again, we took the same route- asked the Station Manager about it and he calmly directed us to a couple of swanky touchscreens in the main foyer where one could enter the PNR number and get reservation status! Unluckily, the machine was hell bent on not giving us the required details. Thankfully, there was a dinosaur-era black-and-white computer placed the the Reservation counter for the same purpose. This one promptly gave the display- "Seats confirmed. C5-11,17,20". Announcements were made that Mumbai bound Shatabdi Express would arrive at 21:35. We went to the air-conditioned waiting room to spend the one hour at hand but it was overflowing with harried passengers so we walked back out and decided to "enjoy" the chaos on the platform. Finally, as promised, at 9:32pm, I boarded the first-ever "Overnight Shatabdi" for the return journey.

This time, my coach had LCD screens like the ones found in airplanes for our entertainment. However, there was one rider- it would show onlyone channel and that too pre-decided by the catering staff! We were subjected to half an hour of torture of an old episode of "Hum Paanch", followed by an even torturous episode of a serial called "Kitne Kool Hai Hum" (Yeah, Ekta!). Thankfully, this was followed by "Sa Re Ga Ma Pa" challenge and I decided to take a nap listening to the India's future singers belting out popular numbers (and crying for votes). After a coupleof songs, I heard "Whenever, Wherever" and I jolted out from my semi-sleep expecting to see Shakira on screen! But, it was some behenji-trying-to-be-modern imitating Shakira in pseudo Latino-American accent. Shatabdi's rules state that snacks be served as the train departs Vadodara and not showing any concern to the fact that it was 10pm now, the catering guys enthusiastically brought in plates of samosas, masala peanuts, a sweet and a mango juice for the passengers. This was followed by "evening tea" at 11pm. Finishing that off, just as we were trying to go to sleep, the catering guys barged in at 12 mindight with tomato soup and bread sticks with butter. Grudgingly, we finished off that too and like everyone else in the coach, went off to sleep. But this did not last long. As we departed from Surat at 1:15 am, the catering guy came and poked each of the sleeping passengers- "Sir, aapka dinner!"

The reaction on everyone's faces on hearing this just cannot be described in words! This was heights of abiding the rules- dinner is served at Surat every day so it must be done today also, so what if it's wellpast midnight! Ofcourse I was not hungry at this hour but seeing Paneer Mutter in the dinner tempted me a bit and I had a few bites of it, returned the plates and decided to sleep- once again. But, no! At around 1:45am, a loud screeching sound of Emergency Brakes and a heavy jerk woke everyone up with queries of "Kya hua? Kya hua?" From my numerous previous experiences, I knew our Loco Pilot had run over some animal or human. (the latter seemed unlikely- which idiot would be crossing the tracks at this unearthlyhour?) My doubt was confirmed by a catering guy who ran across the coach shouting "Aise sabko udaate rahega to Mumbai kab pahuchega?"

The matter was resolved soon and after an hour of not-so-peaceful sleep (after all, how can you sleep comfortably in a Chair Car coach?), I saw outside the window- a signboard showed "Vasai Road" and the LED clock next to it showed "02:44". This served as a wake-up call for everyone and we were finally out on a completely deserted Borivali station with the clock reading "03:06", ending what turned out to be a Once In a Century (or should I say, Shatabdi) journey!