Monday, January 7, 2008

Big Monkey!

An Indian reporter's interview with Andrew Symonds:

Reporter: Sir, are you satisfied with your performance today?
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter: How was the pitch like? Could you manage batting on it?
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter: Ok, what about the Indian bowling? Did any bowlers make things difficult for you?
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter: And what about the crowd support? Did that help?
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter: What is your gameplan for the next match?
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter: Lets hope you continue your current form throughout the series.
Symonds: You are racially abusing me.

Reporter (irritated): Kya paka raha hai saala bandar...
Symonds: Thank You very much!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Year That Was...

Presenting a list of some of the most happening events of the year 2007-


Our Badshah of Bollywood Shahrukh Khan! He was all over the place all year round right from coaching the hockey team on-screen in Chak De India to cheering the cricket team off-screen at the Twenty20 World Cup (alongwith publicising his movies); from taking Big B's place in KBC3 to ending the year with Om Shanti Om which made 'six-pack abs' the most discussed word of the year, this is one guy who never remained out of the limelight for even a single moment throughout the year.


The Twenty20 World Cup. Indian team, for the first time playing sans the Big Three, entered as the underdogs, played like lions, defeated all the heavyweights, fooled Pakis with a bowl-out, defeated the overconfident Aussies, set up a dream India-Pak final and finally went on to win the trophy under the leadership of Dhoni (and a little help from Misbah). And yes, somewhere in between, Yuvraj plundered six sixes off an over emerging as a national superhero. And for once a team used to escaping from back doors of our airports was given a hero's welcome where entire Mumbai took a day off and went hysterical. The new India had truly arrived!


There is absolutely no competition here- Rakhi Sawant emerges as the clear winner. She missed no opportunity to hog the limelight (for all the wrong reasons most of the times) and our headless Hindi News Channels gave her all the opportunity that she wanted to shout, crib, cry and wail on national television, eventually making a fool of herself! Be it anything from Sunita "Indian" Williams' space flight to Nach Baliye, she wanted to cry out aloud and give her opinion on every topic under the sun. Ofcourse nobody gave a damn to it, but that's is a different matter altogether.


"Chak De India". What started as just another movie went on to inspire Indians, generate some half-hearted interest in hockey which died down as quickly as it rose; but what remained was the title phrase and ironical as it may sound, the title song written to promote hockey percolated soon to cricket grounds and almost became the national sports anthem with it being played a million times during every match that India played. The heights were reached when Congress party tried to win Gujarat elections with "Chak De Gujarat" as its theme and fell flat on its head.


Narendra Damodardas Modi- love him or hate him, you just cant ignore him. This man overcame all negative publicity that pages and pages of Times of India and hours of Aaj Tak had published against him and in this day of uncertainities came to power in Gujarat with a sweeping victory for the third consequtive time. Truly a case of victory of good (work) over evil (propoganda). And Sonia is still looking for the the person who scripted her "Merchant of Death" speech which proved suicidal.


Yes, you guessed it right- Deepika Padukone. The damsel had first Dhoni and then Yuvraj go drooling over her and her attendance at the matches ensured tremendous entertainment for the crowds who went hysterical everytime her face was shown on the giant screens followed by Dhoni going red blushing! When they said Twenty20 is entertaining, they certainly had not expected it to be this big! Oh yeah, she also sparkled on screen as the lovable Shantipriya in Om Shanti Om and shot to overnight fame. And as for the Deepika-Dhoni-Yuvraj triangle, well the girdlock still remains and the winner may come out only in the new year but in the meantime, the crowds are loving it!


New futuristic design by internationally famed NID Ahmedabad, electronics from Germany, wheels from Romania, the authorities went all out to design new local trains for Mumbai but they forgot to take into consideration one small fact- the Mumbai crowd! So after months of reports filling the newspapers about Mumbai's lifeline getting a much needed 157 new state-of-the-art local trains what we have by the end of the year are a grand total of 3 new trains and that too after just one month of induction boast of pan stains all over the exterior, torn off stickers and seat cushions and graffiti on the interiors. Seems like Mumbai doesnt want to move beyond the brown metal boxes that run from the past 30 years carrying generations of Mumbaikars to work and back.

More events, if any, will be added later.
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