Tuesday, June 29, 2010

India According to Mumbaikars

Genre: Humour
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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Why FIFA World Cup is Not As Fun As IPL

Genre: Humor

The FIFA World Cup 2010 has started in South Africa amidst all the hype and hoopla but for me, the quientessential cricket-fed desi, it doesn't excite in the present avatar. Football World Cup needs several changes to make it as entertaining as IPL.

First of all, those suit-booted gentlemen talking before and after the matches on ESPN-Star Sports need to go. There should be Harsha Bhogle, Navjot Singh Sidhu and Mandira Bedi in that panel. And before you say "What the...", let me explain-

Harsha Bhogle probably never even took a cricket ball or bat in his hands yet he can convincingly dish out expert knowledge on cricket matches, so there is no reason why he cannot discuss football without ever having kicked a ball. Sidhu anyways keeps speaking what he wants to- shayaris, quotes et al so it doesn't matter whether you keep him in a cricket discussion or football discussion. As far as Mandira Bedi is concerned, till date she doesn't know what happens in the game she is supposed to talk about, so she fits in fine too.

I observed the football World Cup games have only one break at half-time. This is not fair. Players and viewers need more ad breaks, so from immediate effect there should be two X Mobile Strategic Timeouts introduced in the game, each decided by one team. Also, staring at the same ball for 90 minutes is too monotonous, so every team should bring a couple of cute looking "brand ambassadors" who don't know a bit about the game, but can excitedly wave flags whenever the camera focusses on them.

We see a lot of games becoming boring due to lack of goals scored. To make the game exciting, there should be a Powerplay period of 15 minutes in every half when only two defenders should be allowed inside 30 yards from the goal post. Also, to make the commentary more interesting, terms like Toyota Free Kick, Citibank Penalty and Adidas Offside should be used liberally.

Finally, the biggest reason why Football World Cup is not as entertaining as IPL to watch- There is no MRF Blimp over the stadiums! How technologically-backward! :(
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My World...My Views by The Blue Indian is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.