Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dare To Think Beyond Reality

Genre: Current Affairs

Since the last several years, IIPM, an institute run by a maverick going by the name of Dr. Arindham Chaudhari has been issuing full page color advertisements in leading newspapers across India boasting about its "world class facilities" along with a tagline that goes "Dare To Think Beyond The IIMs".

What do the students who dared to think beyond the IIMs and enrolled at IIPM, lured by the famous promise of "free laptops" and "foreign tours" land up in is evident to anyone who visits the IIPM website that proclaims it to be "The Largest B-School on Earth". The final nail in the coffin of this all-claims-no-substance institute came yesterday when the University Grants Commission issued this ad clarifying that IIPM is not a University!

Not the one to sit quiet, IIPM and the oh-so-great Dr Chaudhari came up with this brilliant piece of explanation that is a perfect example of "digging one's own grave".

Let's go through the various points presented by His Highness Dr. Arindham Chaudhari The Great-

"IIPM like the IIMs in India is neither an university nor has it ever claimed to be one"

Hey wait! All these years you told us 'Dare to Think Beyond the IIMs' and you start your letter with a comparison with the IIMs. What is this yaar?

"And exactly like the IIMs in India, IIPM does not offer any degrees."

Phir vohi baat? Dude, think beyond the IIMs na!

"The institute has pioneered the practice of making laptops a part of the package offered to every students, along with the global tour called GOTA."

GOTA?? ROFL! Aur kuch naam nahi mila kya?

"IIPM is a private institution, ie. it is entirely funded by student fees. While in the US, Harvard and Stanford are also private, the Indian education system does not recognize private institutions as yet in a similar manner."

Aai Shappath! Kya comparison hai boss! Maan gaye!

"ISB, the IITs and other leading institutions do not accept AICTE's standards."

Pehle IIMs, then Stanford-Harvard, now ISB-IIT, arre bhai decide karo na tumko exactly kiska copy maarna hai?

"In 2005, an article was published by a small time sensationalist college paper called JAM magazine. Rashmi Bansal, the owner and editor of JAM and her associates began a campaign against the institute on the internet, using blogs - a typical means used to spread slander against reputed brands by jealousy ridden frustrated wannabees."

Really? Jealousy ridden frustrated wannabe? That's YOU, dude!

"The Indian blogging community (or blogosphere, as it likes to call itself) is essentially a bitchy, self-indulgent and an almost incestuous network comprising journalists, wannabe-writers and a massive army of geeks who give vent to their creative ambitions on the internet."

Waah! Waah! Kya gyaan diya Arindam saheb! Tussi great ho!

"IIPM, alongside Harvard and Wharton, does not believe the rankings conducted by publications reflect the quality of business education."

"IIPM has been consistently ranked among India's top business school by several leading newspapers and magazines, since 2003."

Okay, so we should NOT believe you are among India's top business schools, right? Thank you. Finally you accepted the reality!

I have only one advice for you, Dr. Arindham Chu-dhari- Dare To Think Beyond Bullshit.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Virtual Tour...of Real Lies!

Genre: India

Off late, anyone with a spare building and a couple of unemployed graduates willing to masquerade themselves as "professors" is out opening "world-class" Management Institutes and Engineering Colleges all over India, and their websites are, amusing to say the least. Here are some samples-

Hot chick: check; studious girl: check; sardarji: check; orthodox Muslim girl: check; firang blonde: check; mandatory black guy: check! Mall me se Rs 50 deke utha laaye sabko, haath me ek book pakda diya, smile for a group photo and bingo! Ho gaya "cultural diversity"

Waah! Kya naam hai! Only one small problem- the photo on the website homepage isn't quite "accurate"!

US university style logo, in-our-dreams campus ka ek photo, mandatory "cute chick" and suited-booted-guys and here we go! Website ready!

I bet that brunette on the homepage has never even heard the name of this university! And dude, what's that? Gaudy golden convocation gowns? Kaunse maharishi ke shishya ho bhai tum?
Hey wait! Didn't you guys just tell us to think beyond the IIMs? by the biggest ass on Earth!

I cannot help but make an honorable mention here of a certain institute that has withstood the test of time and market trends as far as design of its website goes. Please have a look-

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