Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Monsters That Prowl VJTI

Genre: Humour

Disclaimer: All creatures mentioned herein are purely fictitious and any resemblance to any dinosaur- living, dead or otherwise is purely coincidental.

It is a well known fact that it is a jungle out there in VJTI but very little is known to the outside world about the mysterious creatures that prowl the place. Here is a scientific lowdown on some of the species unique to the VJTI Jungle-


Billasaurus Linguica

One of the most documented creature of the region, it has a peculiar trait of communicating in a language which is difficult to comprehend for creatures of other species and is known to express itself with phrases like "Once Gones The Gones" and "Both of you Three Get Out!"

Deolekasaurus Corpulentii
This heavy creature once used to dominate over the helpless creatures of Studenticus Firstyearisis species but is now extinct. Fossil records show that this creature made many Studenticii wait outside its den for long periods of time for a process known as Vivasis.

Daruwalus Geniusii
This creature was born with an exceptionally high IQ which allowed it to prove his dominance over all other creatures; however, it has a great dislike for Rattus rattus. Due to spending most of its time in the extremely cold climate inside Mup Laboratarica, it has developed a mutation which causes it to sometimes behave in a very unnatural manner and perform amusing tasks like pointing a remote control at a blank screen in an attempt to turn it on.

Sulbhasaurus Giganticus
Probably the most gigantic creature ever known to reside in this forest, Sulbhasaurus suffers from a rare genetic disorder known as LCLO (Lengthy Continous Lecture Obsession) which makes it difficult for it to stop once it starts talking and is known to make irritating shrill sounds to scare away Studenticus.

Rathodosaurus Bevdapii
Living on a staple diet of alcohol, this creature resides in a secluded dark corner of Electrical Laboratorica and is known to come out in the open very rarely mainly because of its inability to walk straight and speak clearly.

Narayankhedosaurus Innovacus
Little is known about the daily chores and routine of this extremely hard-to-see creature which is believed to reside in one exceptionally huge den and use an expensive Innova to travel.

Lokegaonsaurus Procastinatus
Like all other creatures residing in Exam Departmentica, this creature is known to be sluggish and has developed the unique ability to hide itself from other creatures, especially Studenticus. Its language consists of limited vocubalary which is a characteristic trait of Exam Departmentica and includes phrases like "Udyaa Yaa!" and "Chaar baje ke baad".

Charlisaurus Nonchalantii
This creature was once known to be possessing an absolute lack of reaction to stimuli, not showing any response even when objects were physically hurled at it. The reason for this is still unknown. This creatue has not been spotted since a long time and many assume it to be extinct.

Satishosaurus Eccentripus
It has been postulated that this creature is the missing link between Rathodosaurus and Devlekosaurus; however no scientist so far has been able to ascertain the reason behind the eccentric behaviour displayed by this creature which includes comparing Computer Programming to selling a ball pen among other things.

Amuthosaurus Disciplinicus
Closely related to Shardasaurus in behaviour, this creature is known to dish out long lectures on the need for discipline whenever possible. It has also been noticed that it insists on having the entire corridor empty for it when it wants to take a walk and anyone found coming in its way is subjected to a long verbal torture.

Besides these, several other creatures like Rapasaurus, Bhosalosaurus, Patilosaurus, Sarvadosaurus are known to exist in remote corners of the forest and efforts are on to retrieve substantial data about their behavioural patterns.

16 comments:

  1. LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ... dis is by far d BEST post i hva ever seen abt d "creatures of VJTI" :P :D TOO GOOD!!!

    I FINALLY had d pleasure of meeting "Billasaurus Linguica" on 1st day of exam n boy!!! he DOES live up to all d legends i hav heard abt him. :P

    Deolekasaurus was one of the brainiest Dino=profs we hav ever had. :P never mind d neverending viva's :P

    wow!! Daruwala (not so) Geniusii did dat??? (ROFL)

    Lokegaonsaurus Procastinatus lives up to his name. All Hail Procastination!!! :) ;)

    Narayankhedosaurus Qualisii is also known to set fire to all eveidence indicating extravagent expenditures to avoid getting jailed. so it seems to hav a conviving mind of its own. :P

    I would like to add a few to this list, esp Wumpusii Stinkeretti, Bholesaurus Boringtodeathsii, n Shirolesaur PinkTee :P :D lolz... i wud update u abt their characteristics later. :P

    TOO GOOD!!!
    Cheers,
    Annie.

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  2. Dude!! u were rite.. i'm laughing off my seat here!!!!

    I simply loved the parts about viva wait outside deo's den. and of course my now-dinosaurised sasur.. loke! :P

    n btw tune innova ko qualis kaha... ab DIROsaurus tujhe khaa jaega!!! LOLZZZ

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  3. @Ice Maiden

    I am surprised how it took you four years to find Billasaurus inspite of it being the most documented creature in the jungle!

    And yes, Daruwalus Geniusii does do things like that!

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  4. @Jagged Edge

    I am so sorry to categorize your sasur amongst the Monsters! :P

    And about DIROsaurus, my mistake, my mistake! Incorrect data interpretation! The error has been rectified and the creature re-classified with correct nomenclature.

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  5. You forgot asshole-kumarosaurus!

    There's one more dinosaur in the form of a TA in my dept, but i'm sure u haven't seen her.

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  6. no doubt the best post i've read in ages :D ROFL!!!! kudos to ur creativity!

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  7. ROFL@ Rathodosaurus Bevdapii. I hated him. Good riddance to drunk rubbish.

    Awesome post. Can't believe you actually found the time to do this right in the middle of the exams.

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  8. @Zai

    Error: Invalid Nomenclature! Too explicit!

    @Rnaodm Thoughts
    I feel honored to hear this.. all the more because it is coming from a genius like you! Thanks so much!!!

    @Aditya
    Did you ever encounter Shardasaurus Giganticus? If yes, Rathodosaurus Bevdapii is nothing in comparison!

    And well, most of my unusual posts are written either just a few days before or right in the middle of the exams only! The tension somehow fuels creativity! :D

    PS: I worked on that image for one hour just a day before my Image Processing paper.. practical implementation you see!

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  9. I haven't- and from what I've heard, I've been lucky. What I said was from personal experience. Bevdapii really had it in for me.

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  10. OK, it's assholosaurus kumarosaurus :)

    Shardasaurus is one hell of a dinosaur! Yells and cracks jokes at the same time. And then gives the crooked half smilee.

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  11. Awesome dude..
    And I totally agree... creativity somehow manifests itself effortlessly during examination times...
    Hats off !!

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  12. @ Ankit

    Nice to have you here, man! Do drop in often!

    Thanks a lot for the compliments! :-)

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  13. Might I add :

    Patilosaurus Mathematicus
    One of the oldest and wisest of a rare breed. By far the best, but beware of the threats in his silence. Spends a lot of his time spreading knowledge to foreign lands these days.

    Padhyodaurus Indifferentus
    Found mostly in the Chemistry Laboratorica or the Exam Departmentica, spends most of his time helping the Studenticus Firstyearisis species. Unperturbed even by earthquakes or nuclear explosions, happily shows transparencies on his Projectorus Novus.

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  14. ROFLMAO! Ha ha Can't ace this 1! I so get the picture at VJTI. At least u had we have aliens. This post is pure genius. Loved reading every bit.

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  15. Too good! Reminded me of VJTI days! When is technovanza held these days?

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