Monday, November 1, 2010

Open Letter to Barack Obama

Genre: Current Affairs

Dear Obama,

It gives me great pleasure to know you will be visiting my hometown Mumbai, India with your family next week, your trip coinciding with Diwali. Your timing of the trip could not be any better. For Indians, Diwali is a time for celebration and I know you are no stranger to this fact, after all you delivered a flawless telemprompter-assisted speech this day last year explaining the same to Americans. It is a day when Indian families visit friends, go shopping and burst firecrackers. However, this year thanks to you, this will not be possible since roads across the city will be blocked for hours and public places cordoned off for your humble caravan consisting of only 78 cars to pass. Breaking away from the monotony, common citizens will get an opportunity to spend their Diwali day in their cars, waiting in traffic. I am also told you will be arriving by Air Force One along with a total of forty planes. The citizens of Mumbai, confused whether you are arriving on a presidential visit or leading a full-fledged air invasion, will thank you from the bottom of their hearts for shutting down Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport for two hours, delaying around fifty flights, giving them a priceless opportunity to see this spectacular sight.

I am sure you must have read The New York Times and other US newspapers criticizing a certain man called Mukesh Ambani for building a $1 billion 27-floor house for his family of five in Mumbai. I am glad to know that you, instead of getting discouraged by such criticism, have decided to go one step ahead and book all 570 rooms in the Taj Mahal hotel in Mumbai for your family of four. I, and hundreds of other graduate students studying in universities across your country have had their research assistantships and funding curtailed, having been told by the university that the country is going through an economic crisis and it is time to be frugal and save every dollar possible. However, it feels great to know you will not be following this policy and will be taking every effort on your trip to showcase the power and wealth of the United States.

I have come to know from your official sources that you would not be visiting the Golden Temple in Amritsar because you believe it would project you as a Muslim, although you are not one, and malign your reputation. However, I see your wife will be visiting Kamathipura. Going by your logic, this would project her as a prostitute, although she is not one. I guess you are fine with that.

Thank you once again for your humble low-key visit.

God Bless America!


  1. Roads being renovated and cities being spruced up. I just wish the government would make a habit of doing all that for Indian citizens first.

  2. @Rohit
    Yeah that's the only "positive" I can see of his visit. For just this one reason alone, I wouldn't mind him going to Mumbai once every year or so :P

  3. the part about michelle obama was should be careful before saying such not bite the hand that feeds you as the saying goes...the rest of it was good satire...

  4. Biting satire in every line! Good work man :)

  5. @Anonymous

    Really? I see you get offended very easily. And what about White House comments that Obama going to holy center of Sikhism will portray him as a Muslim.. THAT is offensive my friend.

    And what "hand that feeds you" are you talking about? Michelle or Obama doesn't pay me anything, on the other hand, I pay $20,000 every year to the US economy as my tuition fee :|

  6. The point is not offensive to me...its offensive in dont go around demeaning women in that way...its a rashly drawn conclusion..thats for the part where you say that the country is not doing anything for you are paying for your college you are expected to...but in are getting a whole lot which i would think you are taking for for the sikhism comment...i did not at any point condone using it against my point was not becoming of you....all in all i must commend you for your post tho...good observations...

  7. hahahaha, mind blowing yar.. It is more like a " Up yours mr. Obama " kind of post!! bravo..

  8. Exactly my feelings. My relatives staying in mumbai have to book a room and stay in a hotel a day before just near the airport to catch a flight on 7th of November 2010 in time. I am sure everyone staying in Mumbai must be having similar stories to tell for the Obama visit... Bravo !!! I hope this reaches Obama...:)


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