Jai Ho!

Genre: Current Affairs

A lot has been said and heard about how the politicians in India are lazy, indifferent and out-of-sync with the real world and the issues that bother the Common Man. However, very few of them are 'smart' (read: stupid) enough to publicly demonstrate these qualities. Fortunately, it seems I have found one such sample-

The newly-elected MP from my constituency- Mr. Sanjay Nirupam, in his first interview to The Times of India after winning from Mumbai North quotes- "My first priority now is quadrupling of Borivali-Virar railway tracks which has been the long standing demand of 18 lakh commuters."

Just to let you know Mr. Nirupam, the Borivali-Virar Quadrupling Project has already been completed more than two years ago! Itne saal so rahe the kya? Jaago Re!

Thank You for letting us know how "informed" neta we guys have chosen to represent us for the next five years! I am feeling glad I did not waste my valuable vote on you.

Jai Ho!

P.S.: It seems our "techno-savvy" netaji writes a Blog too! See it here. No prizes for guessing who actually posts on it.

The Monsters That Prowl VJTI

Genre: Humour

Disclaimer: All creatures mentioned herein are purely fictitious and any resemblance to any dinosaur- living, dead or otherwise is purely coincidental.

It is a well known fact that it is a jungle out there in VJTI but very little is known to the outside world about the mysterious creatures that prowl the place. Here is a scientific lowdown on some of the species unique to the VJTI Jungle-


Billasaurus Linguica
One of the most documented creature of the region, it has a peculiar trait of communicating in a language which is difficult to comprehend for creatures of other species and is known to express itself with phrases like "Once Gones The Gones" and "Both of you Three Get Out!"

Deolekasaurus Corpulentii
This heavy creature once used to dominate over the helpless creatures of Studenticus Firstyearisis species but is now extinct. Fossil records show that this creature made many Studenticii wait outside its den for long periods of time for a process known as Vivasis.

Daruwalus Geniusii
This creature was born with an exceptionally high IQ which allowed it to prove his dominance over all other creatures; however, it has a great dislike for Rattus rattus. Due to spending most of its time in the extremely cold climate inside Mup Laboratarica, it has developed a mutation which causes it to sometimes behave in a very unnatural manner and perform amusing tasks like pointing a remote control at a blank screen in an attempt to turn it on.

Sulbhasaurus Giganticus
Probably the most gigantic creature ever known to reside in this forest, Sulbhasaurus suffers from a rare genetic disorder known as LCLO (Lengthy Continous Lecture Obsession) which makes it difficult for it to stop once it starts talking and is known to make irritating shrill sounds to scare away Studenticus.

Rathodosaurus Bevdapii
Living on a staple diet of alcohol, this creature resides in a secluded dark corner of Electrical Laboratorica and is known to come out in the open very rarely mainly because of its inability to walk straight and speak clearly.

Narayankhedosaurus Innovacus
Little is known about the daily chores and routine of this extremely hard-to-see creature which is believed to reside in one exceptionally huge den and use an expensive Innova to travel.

Lokegaonsaurus Procastinatus
Like all other creatures residing in Exam Departmentica, this creature is known to be sluggish and has developed the unique ability to hide itself from other creatures, especially Studenticus. Its language consists of limited vocubalary which is a characteristic trait of Exam Departmentica and includes phrases like "Udyaa Yaa!" and "Chaar baje ke baad".

Charlisaurus Nonchalantii
This creature was once known to be possessing an absolute lack of reaction to stimuli, not showing any response even when objects were physically hurled at it. The reason for this is still unknown. This creatue has not been spotted since a long time and many assume it to be extinct.

Satishosaurus Eccentripus
It has been postulated that this creature is the missing link between Rathodosaurus and Devlekosaurus; however no scientist so far has been able to ascertain the reason behind the eccentric behaviour displayed by this creature which includes comparing Computer Programming to selling a ball pen among other things.

Amuthosaurus Disciplinicus
Closely related to Shardasaurus in behaviour, this creature is known to dish out long lectures on the need for discipline whenever possible. It has also been noticed that it insists on having the entire corridor empty for it when it wants to take a walk and anyone found coming in its way is subjected to a long verbal torture.

Besides these, several other creatures like Rapasaurus, Bhosalosaurus, Patilosaurus, Sarvadosaurus are known to exist in remote corners of the forest and efforts are on to retrieve substantial data about their behavioural patterns.

C 08:08 12 F

Genre: Mumbai

C 08:08 12 F

This glowing sign greets me every morning as I enter the crowded precincts of Malad station. As I make my way to Platform 4 crawling in a sea of humanity on the Foot-Over Bridge, the Firozpur "Bullock Cart" Express invariably passes from below. Making my way through the hordes of office-going ladies occupying the front end of the platform, I reach my pre-designated place. Between the two pillars painted red-and-yellow signifying the First Class coach, there is a point where the digits "74" are marked on the track (I don't know why). This is the exact position that I have assigned myself. The indicator shows it is still five minutes to go. Slowly the crowd keeps on building and all around me I can see familiar faces turning up, all sincerely occupying the same position everyday. Suddenly someone shouts- "Peeche ho jaao!" (Move back!). With a ear-deafening hoot of horn, a Virar-Churchgate Fast local speeds past at merely two feet from where I am standing at the edge of the platform, the hooligans hanging at the door screaming like mad. On the opposite platform, a gentleman popularly known as "Signal Kaka" keeps a lookout for the incoming train. The moment he spots it, he jumps across to our side, thereby signaling the arrival to the hundreds of others waiting eagerly. Suddenly there is frenzy all over the platform. The ones standing behind put an open question that anyone standing in the first row is free to answer- "Naya hai ki juna?" (Is it the new one or old one?). The answer will decide today's strategy. As the train slowly pulls into the platform, the "experts" standing in the first row signal with their hands to the motorman if he is pulling in too slow, too fast or just right. Finally, as the first door of the First Class coach comes near, I blindly jump in alongwith dozens of others, everyone pushing each other into the coach. Instinctively I turn left and deposit myself somewhere in the centre of the long seat meant for eight passengers. Within a few seconds, one after the other, men of all sizes come charging in, completely filling up the entire place. The unlucky ones who do not get a seat are now assigned the job of neatly arranging everyone's bags onto the Luggage Rack above. However, the most unlucky ones are the "oversmart" passengers who board the train from Kandivali yard itself hoping to get a good seat- all of them are first politely asked to vacate the seats, failing which, subjected to choicest abuses, followed by a good thrashing and eventually pushed out of the coach!

As the train picks up speed, the eclectic mix of co-passengers which includes businessmen, traders, stock-brokers, lawyers, doctors (myself being the only student in the "gang") forget their professional duties for an hour and let loose the kid inside them- joking, fighting, pulling each other's legs and once a week even throwing in a treat of delicacies ranging from samosa to jalebi, distributed free to all passengers in the vicinity - making the journey in the super-dense packed crowd a lot more tolerable. As Bandra approaches, following the unwritten rule in existence since years, everyone who had "caught" a seat from Malad gives the seat to the ones standing earlier thereby ensuring everyone gets to sit for atleast half the journey. Finally, at Dadar, I get off alongwith a majority of the crowd in the coach as the train speeds off towards Churchgate.

This has been my daily routine for the past four years. It sounds mechanical, it is executed to clockwork perfection every day yet there is a hidden emotion, a feeling of belongingness, an attachment behind this exercise that makes me teary-eyed as I get off at Dadar today for THE LAST TIME from the 08:08 am Malad-Churchgate 12-Coach Fast.

The Faces That Make Me Smile...

Genre: College Life

When I joined VJTI, I was made to believe that this is a place where girls are Endangered Species and you should be lucky to spot one, leave aside making friends with any! But how wrong they were! Today at the end of my four years of VJTI, when I look back, I cannot help but acknowledge the role played by these lovely ladies in making me the person that I am today-

Mona: When I met this girl for the first time, I had never thought we would be friends- and this has been the most classic example of how wrong first impressions can be! Today, for me, Mona is not just a friend; she is much more than that- it would not be an over-statement if I say that today there is probably no girl in my life who understands me, cares for me, stands by me during the tough times and happily obliges to be my partner-in-crime in the good ones better than she does. Beyond the VJTI-connection, today she is an inseparable part of my life- exactly how a Best Friend should be.

Annie: A little crazy, a little kiddish, but very caring and friendly- that's Annie! A friend since my very early days at VJTI, over the four years, our friendship has only grown stronger by the day. Today, she is one girl whom I can turn to whenever I feel lonely and with whom I can talk about anything under the sun! We have fought, we have quarreled, we have had differences of opinions but at the end of the day, one thing I know for sure- I'm always gonna be there for her 'coz she has been there for me. Always!

Varu: The first girl whom I knew at VJTI, my friendship with this girl has been one helluva roller-coaster ride. From being tagged as my "girlfriend" by some overzealous minds in the first sem to being the girl whom I can confidently confide in, we have come a long way. From the long walks during Ramkumar's Classes to bunking Byju's Classes and spending a long time at the Kapol Niwas bus stop discussing our past, present and future, the four years with her has given me myriad memories which are here to stay for a long time, just like our friendship.

Sari: Met her completely by chance, thanks to the Shimla trip of Wizards, she is one 'senior' who has been a dear friend of mine without throwing any tantrums about her being my "senior"! The days that I have spent with her are surely gonna be memorable- for the crazy things that we have done together! Inspite of having some nasty arguments over tiny matters, inspite of her being out of VJTI, she has not forgotten me and nor will I forget her, or our friendship.

Esha: Another "senior" who looked upon me as a buddy rather than a "junior", she was the one who was instrumental in getting me my first Organiser's duty during Technovanza as well as getting me into the Nirmaan team which eventually led to my appointment as the Nirmaan Editor. Not restricting her interaction to just professional stuff (considering that I was always working under her) she has been a friend who stays in touch even today in spite of her not being at VJTI.

Namrata: The first thing I knew about this girl is that we share our birthday (though not the birth-year)! The next thing I knew was her immense love for cricket- a common passion that has been instrumental in making her the friend that she is today. Smart, intelligent (after all, not everyone gets to go to Microsoft for interns), caring and fun-loving, she is my sms-buddy who always takes the efforts to stay in touch in spite of us hardly meeting each other in person, and this is precisely the reason I am sure our friendship will continue way beyond VJTI.

Natasha: Hard-working, diligent, intelligent and with an impeccable dressing sense, she is probably the chirpiest girl I have met at VJTI. Though she has hardly any time for anything else besides her academic commitments while she is at college, thanks to her well-planned out schedules, she does ensure we regularly meet, so what if it's just for brief chats, and stay in touch and that is what sets her apart from the other girls.

There are a few other girls too who have been an important part of my four years at VJTI, but I shall stop here due to time and space constraints. The contribution of all these girls in making my four years at VJTI memorable and enjoyable is simply phenomenal! Love you all for being with me, for me, forever!

100 Things I'll Remember about VJTI

Genre: Life

Today was my last working day at VJTI and when I look back at the previous four years, I can't help but think of this. So here wo go -

100 Things I'll always Remember About VJTI

100 Tanks near the main gate
99 Watchman's "I-Card Kuthe Aaheee??" welcome note
98 The grand staircase in the Main Building
97 Equipment from 19th century in BEE Lab
96 Garden outside MLR-6
95 Signing attendance through the window of MLR-6
94 The Long wait for bus # 315 at the bus-stop behind Mech Dept
93 Pehli Mulaqat with Varu thanks to bus number 315
92 Long Drawing lectures in MDH by Patil sir
91 The rush to get the few good drawing boards from the storehouse
90 Deolekar's lectures and vivas
89 Sulbha-Aba ki Prem Kahani, Sem I
88 Playing with paper balls during lectures
87 Working on pre-historic era lathe machines for Workshop
86 Working at the hot furnace for Workshop
85 Waiting for hours outside PAW's office for journal correction
84 First class trip to Lonavala
83 First Valentine Day and the "proposal" in Quad
82 ELR-9- the class at the Top of VJTI
81 ELR-4- the class with inbuilt playing field
80 ELR-6- the class with a View (of the Quad!)
79 Terrace Cricket League
78 Rathod's lectures
77 Rathod's "Stand at the door" punishments
76 Nagpal-Rathod altercation over Tug-of-War
75 The fight to catch First Bench for Daruwala sir's lecture
74 The First Bencher's Association
73 The fight to catch last bench before tutorials
72 Cricket in Five Gardens
71 Football at Hoopers
70 Cricket and Tennis inside ELR-4
69 The Kali Ki Rani sessions
68 Alibag Trip - I (with Wizards)
67 Alibag Trip - II (with Tronix)
66 Karan Nagpal- the businessman who walked into VJTI by mistake
65 The Goa Trip
64 First after-exam party at Ovenfresh
63 Second after-exam party at McDonalds, Phoenix
62 Unpteen parties at Classic
61 Unpteen parties at frankie stall behind Khalsa
60 The Matheran Trip - with the One-Day and Two-Day concept
59 The Mahabaleshwar Trip
58 The Shimla-Manali Trip
57 Cake-cutting in class and the junglee chaos that follows
56 Mission Submission
55 Jeenal and Bhoomi (made our last sems so much less taxing!)
54 The CCs
53 The Wizards
52 The 'Central Gang'
51 The 'efficient' TPO
50 Mr. Gaonkar's "VJTI Rockkksss"
49 Byju's MBA Classes
48 Bhandardhara Trip
47 Corridor outside ELR-5 / Comps Dept.
46 Dumb-Charades in class
45 Holi celebrations
44 Traditional Day 2007, 2008 and 2009
43 Incessant photo-sessions every day
42 Mass Lunch in the corridor behind canteen
41 Bird-watching in the Quad
40 Akshat's obsession with NP becoming an issue of national interest
39 The Quiz Club
38 Vatsa's Handwriting analysis and the comprehensive Database
37 Technovanza
36 Pratibimb
35 Enthusia
34 DJ Nites with the rope in the Quad
33 Navratri celebrations without the rope in the Quad
32 Nirmaan and the long process of making it
31 Watching cricket matches in Communications Lab
30 Copying assignments from files uploaded on Orkut
29 Co-operative efforts of writing tutorials
28 The Co-op Store inside the campus
27 Hour-long deliberations on "where to go" at the end of exams
26 The walk from Matunga station and the long wait at the Highway
25 The frequent visits to Ruia ka juice-wala
24 "Aamchi Aai, Tumchi Aai, Veermata Jijabai!"
23 Marksheets on A4-size black & white printouts
22 The CPI/SPI Grading System that nobody has yet understood
21 Dr. Narayankhedkar and his (in)famous Innova
20 Asking the Watchman and Security Officer to pose for photos!
19 Placements that gave me Wipro VLSI
18 Mhatre and Nirmal
17 Aarti Xerox
16 Library
15 Dr. Daruwala's 'Seminar Day' for Microprocessors
14 Watching 'Gunda' inside MUP Lab
13 Parties inside MUP Lab despite RDD's "Mouse aaega" concerns
12 Late-nights at MUP Lab
11 Writing 'Reco Letters ' for myself on behalf of profs
10 Pravin, Atul, Akshay, Vignesh - the 'Common Source'
9 Accounts Section
8 The process of getting a Railway Concession
7 Exam Department
6 The 47-Day Struggle to get Transcripts
5 The air-conditioned MUP Lab
4 Prof. Chandle as the Best Project Guide
3 The White Dog of VJTI
2 The Canteen
1 The Quad