"Amrika Me Aisa Kya Hai...?"

Genre: Humor

I usually do not write consecutive posts on same/similar topics but making an exception this time owing to popular demand. Ever since I moved to अमरीका के संयुक्त राज्य (USA for the uninitiated) from Mumbai two months back, I have been bugged with queries on the lines of “America me aisa kya hai jo India me nahi?”. So here we go- some interesting (and not-so-interesting) observations about life in USA viz-a-viz life in India-

Cleanliness and Discipline – Tonnes of paper (and Gbs of webspace) has been wasted on this topic so I will not add much to the clutter, but add just a few pennies- what struck me (and fellow Desis) the most immediately on landing on American soil was the difference in level of cleanliness all around- till date we have not been able to figure out after all where does all the dirt, dust and assorted pollutants go in this country? It's so clean that I don't feel the need to take a bath for days together! (Oops! I revealed a closely-guarded secret!)

Discipline (especially on the roads) is another aspect that is hard to digest for us Desi people. After all, while in India, when was the last time (or maybe the only time) you actually searched around for a Zebra Crossing to cross a two-lane street? Here, pedestrians crossing the road is considered an event bigger than The Big Bang and the moment you step onto a road, all cars will stop for the VIP (i.e. you) to cross! Similarly, if you are driving on a multi-lane road, at a red signal, you will find 25 cars halting one behind the other in one lane even when the adjacent lane is completely empty! Compare this with the scene in India where on a two lane road, we have a left lane and a right lane interspersed with a scooter lane, rickshaw lane and occasionally a cow/bullock cart lane! So much is the obsession with discipline that all the footpaths are color-coded with different colors representing different rules on stopping/parking- this is something I realised only when I gave my Driving License Test- I always used to think the colors are purely for decorative purpose!

Manners and Dressing – We were told umpteen times during the various Pre-departure orientations that Americans are very friendly people and this seems true, atleast in the first month of arrival- random people will greet/smile at you on the streets and everyone, including the Bus Driver says “Hi” and “Thank You” to boarding / disembarking passengers. Imagine the driver and conductor of BEST's 84 Ltd doing that in morning peak hours! Another interesting point worth mentioning here is that while we think that Americans are very formal and cleanliness-freaks, the fact is that will sit down virtually anywhere – on the pavement, in the aisle in the bus, in the corridors...and you thought this happened only on our railway stations in India!

When it comes to American dressing, I am sure the fashion-conscious (Indian) girls would have a lot to crib about – wearing non color-coordinated, un-ironed, mis-fitting (too large or too small) clothes is the trend here! Another area that is a potential research topic (provided VT gives us funding for it) is trying to figure out the genetic mutation that makes the American girls feel cold only in upper half of the body- after all what explains wearing full-sleeved tshirts an jackets teamed with mini-skirts?  

The Crowd – I do not know if this is a pan-USA phenomenon or limited to the College Town of Blacksburg, but I have found the crowd (read: students) to be very courteous and friendly। Everyone will hold the door open for you, make liberal use of “Hi”, “Sorry” and “Thank You” and most of them (especially the undergrad girls) will smile back if you just look at them! A related point worth noting here- a lot of Spanish/Latin American girls on campus look very similar to Indian girls and I have found out that the only way to clear out the confusion is to just look at her and smile- if she smiles back, she is Spanish/Latin American; if she gives a grumpy “Who are you?” look, she is Indian for sure.  

The Bollywood Connection - Even before you finish saying "Indian movie...", every single soul here will jump back with "Yeah! I have seen Slumdog Millionaire!". Tell them that is NOT an Indian movie, and then the real fun begins. So we have all possible samples from Li Hu, the Chinese PhD student who entertained us with an (awful) rendition of "Tum Paas Aaye" from Mohabbatein to Matt, my Black Manager at Food Court who raves about seeing Dhoom to the Nepali co-worker who, of all the movies, decides to give me a detailed appreciation of TIRANGA ("Nana Patekar. Solid!"). Three cheers to Bollywood- Taking India to the World!

I guess I will stop here before the “moral police” comes with a danda, branding me “Anti-Indian”!

१०० में से ८० बेईमान,
फिर भी मेरा भारत महान!

That I May Serve...

Genre: College Life

Virginia Tech's motto reads “Ut Prosim” meaning “That I May Serve” and most of the newly admitted students, myself included, get the opportunity to take up this motto a bit too literally – by joining one of the Food Courts on campus! Virginia Tech consistently bagged the “Best On-Campus Food among all US Universities” award over the last five years, thanks to four huge Food Courts serving a wide variety of cuisines and employing over 700 students at any given time. This made sure the poor unfunded graduate students (like me) got at least some job (read: money!) As I complete one month as Food Service Technician at Owens Food Court, I would like to share some observations and experiences encountered during my first “job” ever.

The most memorable moment was undoubtedly the very first minute I started my job- I was assigned the duty of serving food at Carvery – the American meal outlet at Owens. The very first customer came and demanded Scrambled Eggs. Just as I was about to put some of them into a dish, he stopped me and said, “No. I want To Go.” I wondered- “if you want to go, just get moving. Why are you telling me?”. It was then that my Manager came in and explained that “To Go” means he wants the food in a styrofoam box to take away (parcel!). New Land. New Vocabulary!

Over a period I have noticed that the Americans have some strange food habits- the most common being pretending to be health conscious. They will order, for example, Double Cheese Burger and DIET Coke! Come on, what's the point! Similarly, in an attempt to eat “healthy”, they eat a lot (and I mean a LOT) of raw lettuce and spinach and because it is so tasteless (even by their standards), they will add a dozen different fat-rich dressings like Ranch, Thousand Island, Golden Italian and what not! But what freaked me out the most is the dining schedule of the Americans – my Food Court serves Lunch only from 11am to 1pm and believe it or not, dinner time is 5pm-8pm! I used to have my evening snacks around that time back home!

One thing that I really appreciate about my job is Dignity of Labor and Equality- nobody behaves like a “boss” nor are we at any point of time made to think that we are “waiters” or “cleaners”. At busy times, even the General Manager cleans the tables along with students at Customer Service and nobody is singled out to do “dirty” job like taking out the trash. The work environment is very casual and the Managers make it a point to appreciate every single small job well done by the student employees.

While the work of serving food, cleaning tables or collecting dishes and washing them doesn't seem interesting at first, the perks of working at Dining Centers are many- first and foremost- the Meal Coupons! Every shift I work gives me one meal coupon which entitles me to unlimited free food the next day at D2 (VT's biggest multi-cuisine Food Court serving everything from American to Italian to Mexican to Chinese and Mediterranean). Apart from that, while at work, I am allowed to have as many glasses of cold-drinks as I want from the Fountain as long as I don't ignore my work for that. And then there are other perks- getting to know a lot of fellow students and of course, the biggest motivating factor for any guy to work at the Food Courts is the crowd! There is plenty of “bird-watching” opportunity and call it my luck that most of the days I work at either the Organic food shop or Salad bar- two places which are frequented by a LOT of beautiful American girls! Moreover, the girls here (especially the undergrads) smile a lot (some of them clearly fake it) but every evening, invariably I come across atleast a couple of customers (female of course!) who give an aww-so-sweet genuine smile before leaving the counter and that makes you feel that the effort you do is worth it!

From collecting and washing a thousand dishes in one evening to re-filling 66 different salad items continuously, I have done it all, and how much am I paid for it? Well, I will put it this way- my 14 hours of work at Owen's (after conversion to Indian rupees) is paying me more than the salary Wipro had offered me during campus placement last year!

The Elusive Princess

Genre: Fantasy

Once there was a young wanderer who met a beautiful girl in The City of Dreams. He instantly fell in love with her innocence. Over a period of time, they got to know each other, but never good enough. They were always around each other but not as much as he would have liked. He used to yearn to see a glimpse of her. Her sweet smile made him go weak in his knees. Her innocent giggle used to bring a smile to his face. His only misfortune was that she was always in her own world. He cared for her, went out of his way for her, and expected her to be with him in his thick and thin but she never realized it.

Then came a time when he had to move away- to a faraway land across the ocean. Before leaving, he wanted to see her one last time, but she did not come to meet. At the eleventh hour before his departure, he tried to let her know his feelings but she, being in her dream-world, did not care about it. Finally, from his new home in the new land, he wrote to her, expressing his love that he could not express in person, and began the long wait, eagerly expecting her reply. Days passed, months passed, but he did not hear anything from her. Till date, he lives in hope, and for him, she remains The Elusive Princess.

You are a Graduate Student if...

Genre: College Life

What is is like to be a Graduate Student in a US university?
Quoting from my Virginia Tech Graduate Student Assembly t-shirt:

You know you are a graduate student when...

... your most intimate relationship is with your computer.

... you procastinate by searching for online journals.

... you think work is fun.

... you assign grades to people's conversations.

... you find yourself citing sources in conversations.

... you've been caught sleeping in lab.

... you avoid young attractive people because you're afraid you might be their TA.

... people keep asking when you'll graduate and you have no idea.

... you have a college degree and still ask your parents for money.

... you can't even afford this t-shirt.

Graduate Student Assembly at Virginia Tech

www.gsa.uusa.vt.edu

Adios, Alvida, Aavjo!

This is my last post from Indian soil as I will be flying to Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, USA in 24 hous from now. I don't want this to be the typical sentimental emotional farewell speech, so instead of focussing on the people I will miss, I am rather focussing on the city I am gonna miss- aamchi Mumbai!

Having lived in Mumbai all my life, I feel nostalgic about each and every aspect of this beautiful city but when I look back today, I just can't help but list out four important aspects of this city that I am gonna miss the most-

1. FOOD

From Sardar ka Pav Bhaji to Jumbo King ka Vada Pao. From Chowpati ka bhel to Juhu ka chat, Mumbai is one helluva culinary experience and after gorging on these delicacies for 22 years, my tastebuds are not gonna like the American food!

2. RICKSHAWS

These three-wheeled contraptions are a necessary evil without which survival in Mumbai's suburbs would have been difficult. Though a lot better than their cheating, fleecing counterparts in other Indian cities, a majority of Mumbai's rickshaw drivers think of themselves as the next Schumacher and it is absoulelty amazing to ride in these speed-monsters!

3. SEA

Be it Marine Drive, Gateway of India, Chowpati, Worli Seaface, Shivaji Park, Bandstand, Juhu, Versova, Aksa, Gorai... the sea in Mumbai never fails to mesmerise me with its beauty. So what if the water isn't crystal clear and the sand strewn with garbage, spending an evening at any of the beaches and promenades by the sea of Mumbai has been my ultimate stress-buster all these years.

4. LOCAL TRAINS

Do I even need to say anything? Every single Mumbaikar knows that the local trains are the heart and soul of this city. They may be old, dirty, overcrowded but come rain or sunshine, they are omnipresent- ferrying lakhs of Mumbaikars across the length of the metropolis with amazing reliability and punctuality. No wonder then that I, like most Mumbaikars adore them and the parallel world that the regular commuters create inside them.

I will stop here। Its time to say Adios, Alvida, Aavjo...

ऐ दिल है मुश्किल जीना यहाँ...

ज़रा हटके ज़रा बचके

यह है मुंबई मेरी जान!